We've Never Been Meaner. Here's Why.

**Oprah Winfrey** (0:00)
Why does it seem like people are so mean these days? Have you all noticed? It feels like people have gotten meaner, like stability has left the building. So what is going on?

**Jay Van Bavel** (0:11)
The environment around us has changed, and it's triggering us to be mean.

**Oprah Winfrey** (0:15)
I was so surprised to read this. That healthcare is America's most dangerous profession due to workplace violence. And you've had things thrown at you, is what I'm saying.

**Bumi Patel** (0:27)
100 percent, a patient broke my nurse's hand.

**Oprah Winfrey** (0:30)
There's something about flying that seems to bring out just the worst in people. What's the worst thing somebody said to you?

**Cher** (0:37)
I had a gentleman that said to me, I violate women like you.

**Kaylee** (0:42)
Wow.

**Oprah Winfrey** (0:43)
So what is the path forward? Can you give us a reason to hope that things are going to get better?

**Jay Van Bavel** (0:48)
I mean, I have lots of answers to that.

**Kaylee** (0:50)
I know you do.

**Oprah Winfrey** (0:54)
Hi, everybody. Thanks for joining me on The Oprah Podcast. A heartfelt welcome to this audience who all looks so great and worked on looking great this morning. Congratulations to yourselves.
Really impressed. I had a conversation on this podcast, actually, with Kristin Cabot. Many of you may have seen it. She's the woman who was on that Coldplay kiss cam video that went viral all over the world. So viral. I mean, when they told me that it had 300 billion views, I couldn't believe it because I was like, well, there's only 8 billion people on the planet. How does 300 billion people see it? Apparently, people were passing it around and sharing it and sharing. And she told me about the just the deluge of vitriol that was directed at her online, which obviously was bad enough. But people also had the nerve after her address was put on the radio to drive by her house and even walk up to her in public in front of her children to verbally attack her, just saying mean, awful things. And of course, as we talked about on that show, she even received death threats. Okay. And I feel so strongly, y'all can say what you want, and I feel strongly that she did not deserve that on any level for being out with her boss. Okay. So after talking with Kristen, I kept wondering what is happening to us in this world? Why does it seem like people are so mean these days? Have you all noticed?
It feels like people have gotten meaner, right? Like stability has left the building. And then I found out I'm not alone in feeling this way. Take a look.

**Cher** (2:43)
Y'all, I just got on a target and I'm about to lose my freaking mind.

**Kaylee** (2:46)
People are so rude.

**Amber** (2:51)
What's wrong with people?

**Oprah Winfrey** (2:54)
We have lost all sense of humanity and compassion.

**Kaylee** (2:59)
We have.

**Oprah Winfrey** (3:00)
We've lost it.

**Amber** (3:01)
I don't understand mean people. I don't understand how you wake up in the morning and your first thought is how do I be as mean as possible today?

**Oprah Winfrey** (3:07)
You can't stand mean people.

**Kaylee** (3:09)
Go to therapy. Take a pottery class.

**Bumi Patel** (3:12)
Go hug a tree.

**Stacey** (3:13)
I don't know, but sort out your issues.

**Amber** (3:15)
I mean, like, people don't hold doors anymore.

**Bumi Patel** (3:17)
They don't say, please, thank you.

**Kaylee** (3:18)
You're welcome. People don't hear how they speak to you, how they make you feel.

**Amber** (3:21)
Everybody's just so insensitive and I can't understand what happened.

**Bumi Patel** (3:24)
Like, what made everybody like this? Yeah.

**Oprah Winfrey** (3:28)
That's exactly what we're asking today. So, you know, there's a recent study that found that 53% of Americans believe that society is uncivil.
More than a third say that they almost always or often see people behaving rudely when they go out in public. And to help us understand what is at the root of this, I'm joined by Dr. Jay Van Bavel. Now, he says I can call him Dr. Jay.

**Kaylee** (3:55)
Yep. You're the other one.

**Oprah Winfrey** (3:56)
The other one. So, that's what we're going to be doing today. Dr. Jay is a professor of psychology and neuroscience at New York University and the director of the NYU Center for Conflict and Cooperation. He's also the co-author of The Power of Us.
The Power of Us. Great title, right? The Power of Us, Harnessing Our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation and Promote Social Harmony.