Wanda Sykes: A Joke About ICE

**Wanda Sykes** (0:04)
I'm telling you, the germs and the plague or whatever don't get us. Now we gotta worry about ice. Yeah. Yeah, ice is out here now. Now, here's the thing, they're supposed to be going after violent criminals, right? That's what they said. They're gonna get violent criminals who aren't supposed to be here, get them off the streets. Now, I'm like, okay, I'm down with that. But here's the thing, I want all of them. Violent criminals off the street.
If somebody came up to me and just started stabbing me, I'm not gonna be like, ah, ah, ah, ooh, wait a minute. Where you from?
You stay up like a Guatemalan.
They're supposed to be looking for violent criminals, right? So where are they looking, huh? They're going into restaurants, in the kitchen, because, you know, violent criminals, they make a great sous-chef. Ice is staking out at the courthouse, you know, catching people coming out their hearings, because, you know, violent criminals, they show up for them cases. That paperwork is in order. They're going out, hiding out at the home depots. That's what they're searching. Yeah, ice is in front at the home depot, because we all know, violent criminals, they love a good DIY project. Hell out of here. Fake-ass ice agents. They ain't nothing but part in January 6th insurrections. That's who they are, fake-ass agents. I went down to the Surplus store and bought them little tight-ass vests. How the fuck you hopping out of Ford Focus to go capture somebody?
But they're supposed to be protecting us, but they're killing Americans is what they're doing. Killing Americans. Minnesota, Alex Pretti, that man unarmed, a VA nurse killed him, executed him right there. Renee Good, a mother, yeah, in her car, executed her in her car, and then called her a fucking bitch afterwards. That's what the agent called her, right in front of her wife. Yeah, yeah. So lesbians, you know what we gotta do? We gotta call Subaru and be like, hey.
Let me ask y'all something. Can you make an armored outback? Watch Wanda Sykes Legacy, only on Netflix.