Valentine Dates and Screaming On Airlines

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

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Rizz (0:34)

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SPEAKER_3 (1:45)

The Rizzuto Show Podcast powered by Dobbs. Dobbs Tire and Auto Centers are hiring now with 42 stores. Apply at gotodobbs.com today.

SPEAKER_1 (1:54)

All right, let's hit it.

SPEAKER_3 (1:56)

Little in listener discretion is advised. The Rizzuto Show Rewinds.

Tom Arnold (2:35)

This is Tom Arnold. I like fat women and cocaine, and I also like listening to The Rizzuto Show. That's the show you're listening to now. It's my favorite show. It's my sponsor's favorite show. I probably shouldn't say that out loud, but it's true. Anyways, happy birthday, Rizz.

Moon (3:05)

How about Super Bowl?

Rizz (3:06)

There is a video making around, so you say, at the Super Bowl.

Moon (3:09)

At Super Bowl?

Rizz (3:10)

And why would you say that?

Moon (3:11)

Well, because you spent however much money to get here, you ain't leaving.

Rafe (3:16)

Okay, great thought. You broke up.

Rizz (3:18)

Great thought.

Moon (3:19)

I'm trying to think of some place you would be stuck with somebody.

Rafe (3:21)

I was thinking like a friend's Super Bowl party.

Rizz (3:23)

Friend's Super Bowl party? Show up.

Rafe (3:24)

How about Scott?

Scott (3:26)

I thought of a funeral. Well, it could be a rough spot or on a vacation somewhere like in France.

SPEAKER_9 (3:33)

Yeah, a vacation would be terrible.

Rafe (3:34)

I don't know. Funeral is kind of brilliant. If you think about it, dude, because they start crying, you're just like... It's a blending in.

SPEAKER_7 (3:39)

It's already blending in.

Rafe (3:40)

It's kind of nice.

SPEAKER_3 (3:42)

She really cared about it.

Rafe (3:43)

Make a scene, be like, she's very bereaved. She really loved grandpa.

Rizz (3:48)

I think at an all-inclusive resort, like the second day you get there.

Rafe (3:52)

Yeah.

Rizz (3:54)

Damn.

Moon (3:54)

Well, you know what? That wouldn't be all that bad, though, because you wouldn't have to see each other. You could... I mean, you're not going to spend time in a room. It's all-inclusive, so you're trying to get boozed up and then whatever else.

Rizz (4:03)

But we're still... That's home base.

Scott (4:04)

Yeah, nighttime.

Moon (4:05)

Okay, yeah. But I would sleep on a cot or the couch or something like that, and I wouldn't have to even... You wouldn't have to talk to me. I wouldn't have to talk to you.

Rizz (4:12)

Oh, I think that would be horrible.

Moon (4:14)

Well, it wouldn't be ideal, but I could party on the resort elsewhere.

Rafe (4:18)

I'm going to go to Space Station.

Scott (4:22)

Yeah, that's the worst.

Rafe (4:23)

That's the worst.

Rizz (4:24)

Yeah, you're right.

Rafe (4:25)

Imagine, you're like dating a cosmonaut that's not working out, and you're just like, listen, Igor Avdav, it's not you, it's me. And then you just got to float past each other passive aggressively for the next 365 days.

Moon (4:44)

If I see you floating around in space.

Rafe (4:45)

No, you're right.

Rizz (4:45)

That is probably the most terrible place.

Rafe (4:47)

She's your spotter when you go out to fix the thing, holding on to the little string that keeps you from floating out into space. Just glaring at you.

Rizz (4:57)

If you haven't seen it yet, a video is making the rounds of a woman on a plane.

Rafe (5:02)

Oh.

Rizz (5:03)

Completely losing it because the boyfriend broke up with her.

Rafe (5:07)

I was close.

Rizz (5:08)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Moon (5:10)

I wonder if that was at the end of one of those all-inclusive...

Rizz (5:14)

She screams. She falls on the floor crying and screams some more and yep.