Top 1% Secrets To Make EVERYONE Respect You Instantly

Codie Sanchez (0:00)

People don't win because they are smart. They win because they're respected. And that does not always mean you're light. I spent my career going from Vanguard to Goldman Sachs, running a portfolio of companies, and I've been disrespected at every single step. And guess what? I'm still winning, so you can too. If you're sick of being overlooked, doubted, or people mistaking your kindness for weakness, today's episode is for you. I'm Codie Sanchez, this is the BigDeal Podcast, let's go.

Today, we did something different. I got asked questions by my actual team about things they've seen in me leading companies, finding respect, getting disrespected and what I do about it. So if you like this episode, tell us, we'll do more.

SPEAKER_2 (0:46)

How should someone carry themselves to command respect?

Codie Sanchez (0:49)

We make snap judgments on a human and about the blink of an eye. They say half to a fourth of the blink of an eye.

So the very first thing that you have to do that nobody likes, but is actually the truth, is the way that you dress, the way that you stand, the way that your posture is, the way that your hand movements are. Before you ever open your mouth once, you've already been judged. People don't like that these days because it shouldn't be, don't judge a book by its cover, it shouldn't matter what the outside looks like. That's just categorically not true.

If you are hunched over looking small, hands in your lap, sort of Bernie Sanders during the inauguration, and you're trying to get a job interview, it's not going to go very well for you. If you're really quiet and small, and sort of diminutive in your movements or mannerisms and you're trying to get a big, serious, intense job, salary, deal, whatever, it's probably not going to go very well for you. And so you could actually, you don't have to fake it till you make it, you could just actually stand in like you're the main character as opposed to an MPS or a sideshow. And so I wish I would have learned that earlier. It's why a lot of times, even if you're freaked out, the way that you stand, the way that your posture is, not only is going to make you feel more powerful, but it's going to make somebody else mistake you for more powerful than you actually are.

SPEAKER_3 (2:09)

When do you choose to clap back and when do you let it go?

Codie Sanchez (2:13)

People respect people who are unruffled and unrialled.

And the second you start having an emotional reaction that seems unregulated, especially if you're a woman, I hate to say, people immediately will dismiss you. It's not right, it's not fair, it just is. And so what I've realized is if you're going to clap back, it better be with humor, it better be unemotional, it better be facts, not feelings. Otherwise, you are just going to stir the pot more so that you have more coming to the top. And I don't think you typically want that. So for years now, my motto has been, if I want somebody's respect, I will only ever throw respect out and not hate out, because usually hate out gives you more hate back.

You just spend more time on this thing you want more of in the world. And so if you want more respect, spend more time respecting others. A good rule of thumb, I think, when things aren't going your way or somebody's really rude or terrible to you or you feel like you've been slighted just do the opposite to somebody. Like every time somebody talks shit about me on the internet, I do the opposite. I go and congratulate somebody. I go and write a nice little DM to somebody. I say, hey, I love what you're building over there because I just feel like it balances the universe out. And so every time I get a little hate, I give a little love and I keep going that way. And I think Dolly Parton was an incredible example of this. People would look at the boobs and the hair and the outfits and think she wasn't very smart. And then she said, but by the time that I was done, I got the money and ran. And I think that's part of the game. It's like, do you want to be emotional and unregulated? Or do you want to win? And I was just talking to one of our executives about this today. He kind of came all hot and bothered about something and said, this person is a scumbag and they're not ethical. And we don't want to operate like that. And I said, well, hey, wouldn't that be hard if we could only do business with people that we agreed with them on everything? Wouldn't that be tough if every person that we engaged with sold to, bought from, et cetera, we had to have the same set of moral principles with?