Tony Hinchcliffe: A Joke About Canadians

**Tony Hinchcliffe** (0:30)
Coming into our country, bragging about their free health care while looking like absolute dog shit. And they have egos now. These Canadians have egos. We were always their little protector, you know, they were our fucking little autistic cousin that we locked up in the attic and gave the pizza crust that the rest of the family didn't want at the end of the night to, you know. All we ever did was help them. Yeah, fuck Canada, sir. That's exactly what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's the president Donald Trump, by the way. He's at the show. He's up there being protected by the secret service right now, because he's scared of this guy right here. Jesus Christ. Every lap, you get a little bit scarier. I come around, just... Chin keeps going farther and farther down like this. Fuck, yeah. What kind of Asian are you? You don't know? Perfect. That's what I thought you'd say. This is one of your students, right, Talk Talk?
Anyway.
I always liked Canada, but they have egos now out of nowhere. I don't know how many COVID boosters you have to get to have an irrational ego, but they've got it. A few months ago, at a big hockey game, they booed our national anthem.
Yeah, you know what I think? I think they better stop booing it, and they better start fucking learning it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sick of them. You know, they have a program now where the government kills you.
One in 20 Canadian deaths last year were from a program where they killed themselves, but through the government, because they have free health care, so you sign up for it, and basically the taxpayers are killing them. So they're all killing each other, but they're making it look like it's a compassionate act that they're doing instead of dying, like real people, like real Americans, fighting to their last breath. Yeah.
And they have to schedule it too. They schedule it for a couple months out of their original appointment visit. Have you ever heard of anything quite that Canadian than being told to come back in a couple months for your own suicide and being like, okay, I'll be here with bells and whistles? How un-American is that? How do you kill yourself if you're an American? And you fucking take a, it's just over. Like a fucking patriot. Like a squawking eagle. What's my point? My point is for the past 18 years here, I thought I was living my dreams being a stand-up comedian. And now I've learned that there's a job out there where I could potentially be talking Canadians into killing themselves. Yeah. Let the bodies hit the floor. Yeah. I do. I just want to go door to door like Hans Landa from Inglourious Basterds. Hello. Sure is cold out here, and it doesn't seem like it's ever going to get any warmer. Sounds like a fucking dream. So that's my least favorite race. The Canadians take the fucking cake right now. Watch Tony Hinchcliffe, Man of the People, only on Netflix.