Tom Segura: A Joke About An Audience Fight

**Tom Segura** (0:05)
Thanks. Yeah, I love you too. You're so well-behaved. That's great. It's not always like this. You know that, right? We had a fight in the front row last week at a show. Yeah, and you fucking notice when it's in the front row. You notice. And, you know, normally, we try to put that out pretty quickly, but the guy that started the fight was just so old. Uh, when security descended upon him, I was just like, wait, you know? Like, let him do it, you know? It's probably his last fight, you know? I'm sure it was. He was very old, and he was punching another guy, but he was making, like, old sounds as he was, like, bleh. Like, it was...
Even the guy getting hit was like, I don't give a shit. Like...
I don't feel this. And then the older guy, he just kind of tuckered out, you know? He just, bleh. And he just kind of faded. And then as security was escorting him up the aisle, I looked, and I was like, oh, I think that's a woman.
It was the hair. You know how women will sometimes hit a certain age where they don't want you to try to fuck them anymore, and the hair goes first. You know, they just go, and then we all go, oh yeah, don't try to touch her. I got it. This goes, the vagina closes, the hair goes, and we all go, she's off limits. So whoever it was, rest in peace. Watch Tom Segura, Teacher. Only on Netflix.