Tim Dillon: A Joke About Lizzo

**Tim Dillon** (0:05)
Puff Daddy is having a difficult holiday season. Well, he is, regardless of how we've, you know. But I get it, I get that's a good reason to cancel somebody. You know, he's a demon, fuck him. Throw him in jail. But then there's people that got canceled for doing nothing wrong. What the fuck did Lizzo do? Lizzo got canceled for what? She got canceled by her own people, her own backup fats. Tried to cancel their mother. These ungrateful piglets tried to cancel their mother. She gave them life. She found those bitches at Chick-fil-A and at gas stations having milkshakes. You can't be a fat backup dancer. That's not even a job. I can't stand behind Taylor Swift. I'd be tased by the government, and these fat bitches had the one job they'd ever get. How do you quit that job? How hard could those routines have been? Half of them are on oxygen, just like...
Lizzo had a show to find these women called Lizzo. Here come the big girls, which sounds like a threat.
It sounds like something you hear on a police scanner, you know? Here come the big girls, get on the horse. Don't fuck around, these are the big girls. Get on the horse now. And the premise of this show was that morbidly obese women who'd always dreamed of being backup dancers.
But they'd been denied that by the Illuminati. And gravity. What? The original conspiracy to keep a big bitch down, like, let's be honest. And Lizzo abused them a little bit. She fucked them up a little bit. She was mean, she was rude. So what? A hot bitch making fun of fat chicks? Not cool. Lizzo doing it? Hilarious. The funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. If you're a fat bitch and you turn around to your backup dancers, a bunch of fatty boom baddies, and you turn around and go, get it together, you fat slobs!
And they're all just like...
They're suing her in a court, like in a real court.
Not a candy court, like a real... Not a chocolate court, like... And a judge is gonna walk in, he's gonna look at Lizzo and all her backup dancers and go, ladies, I can't tell any of you apart.
So I'm giving you all a gift certificate to Dairy Queen, because you're all Dairy Queens. And I love you. Watch Tim Dillon, I'm Your Mother, only on Netflix.