⚽ The Worlds Slowest Penalty Kick⚽

Rob Beckett (0:11)

Hello, this is Footballing Hell with me, Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe. No footballer this week, Josh.

Josh Widdicombe (0:17)

You know when you don't even remember what you've talked about before, and I just got a text last night saying, Frank's arse literally relegated, the content near the top.

Rob Beckett (0:26)

Pardon? Is this what you said on Strictly?

Josh Widdicombe (0:28)

No, this is just from a friend. And I was like, what the hell is this?

And then I was like, oh yeah, we were talking about the ranking of the Tottenham Manager's arses.

Michael (0:37)

Oh yes, yes, yes.

Josh Widdicombe (0:39)

You know, we forget what we've talked about.

Rob Beckett (0:42)

Yeah, well, you know, it's weird considering how long we pour over the scripts, that it just goes from our mind at the end of a record. You know what I mean?

Josh Widdicombe (0:49)

It's mad. What shirt are you wearing, Rob?

Rob Beckett (0:52)

I've got a London City Lioness' number 10 Vanderdonk shirt on.

Josh Widdicombe (0:56)

Oh, it fits then, your daughter's shirt.

Rob Beckett (0:59)

No, no, I bought one.

So we've all got matching shirts now. And my daughter got her signed by Daniel Vanderdonk. So now we're in a predicament where she's got a signed shirt, because basically the players go to the edge of the pitch to sign.

Josh Widdicombe (1:12)

Sharpie?

Rob Beckett (1:13)

Sharpie, yeah.

Josh Widdicombe (1:14)

She can wash it.

Rob Beckett (1:16)

Can you wash a Sharpie? It's a risk.

Josh Widdicombe (1:18)

It's a risk.

Rob Beckett (1:19)

It's just a level of adrenaline I don't need on a Monday morning, kneeling by the washing machine, picking up her shirt to see if it's still on there.

Josh Widdicombe (1:27)

Yeah, you don't need that. You don't need that dry clean only.

Rob Beckett (1:31)

I think she might ask for the away shirt for Christmas, because then she can wear that one to games.

Josh Widdicombe (1:37)

Have you become a big London City Lionesses fan?

Rob Beckett (1:40)

What I'm loving most is it's literally a 15-minute drive, or like 20-minute bus. And I love going to something as a family that we're all invested in about the same level.

Do you know what I mean? So like, if it's like I go to England or Arsenal teams are followed for longer, when they're not bothered. And also it's like, you know, that's why people support the local team. It's more fun, the more relaxed. So I love that we all go together and we really care. Welcome. And it's good fun. So yeah, I'm loving going as a fan. Would I go on my own on a Saturday without the kids? Probably not, but I love going on four of us. And Lou's mum and dad came as well, which is nice. Yeah, no, I love it. It's really nice little family.

Josh Widdicombe (2:21)

You don't strike me as a football fan, Lou's mum and dad.

Rob Beckett (2:24)

No, Lou's dad loves football. He's a Portsmouth fan, but not really.

He moved around a lot. His dad was in the Navy, so he moved around a lot. But obviously they ended up in Portsmouth. Yeah, that's where the ships all go.

Josh Widdicombe (2:37)

He could have been a Plymouth fan, Rob. You know, Plymouth and Portsmouth have the Dock Derby.

Rob Beckett (2:43)

The Dock Derby? What's the Dock Derby?

Josh Widdicombe (2:45)

Well, both Navy docks, so there's a kind of rivalry between Plymouth and Portsmouth.

Rob Beckett (2:51)

Well, I think we've spoken, we've spoken before about Southampton and Portsmouth, that they're called the scummers and the skates.

Josh Widdicombe (2:57)

Yeah, but Plymouth and Portsmouth have a long-running rivalry.

Rob Beckett (3:02)

And I feel like there isn't, and Plymouth have invented that, because you need one. Because Exeter is quite far away, isn't it?

Josh Widdicombe (3:10)

No, well, it is, it's 50 miles out of the Dock Derby, yeah.

Rob Beckett (3:14)

It's meant, yeah, so you're trying to invent another one with like, oh, we've got boats. I mean, it's a bit pathetic.

Josh Widdicombe (3:20)

It is lame, it is lame.

Rob Beckett (3:22)

Yeah, but look, I don't want to start beef this early on what is 8 a.m. on a Monday morning at the start of half-term, where, let's face it, we're all over the place. I can hear a child shouting in your house.

Josh Widdicombe (3:33)

Yeah, I know.

Rob Beckett (3:34)

You know, the problem is we can't blame that on parenting now, because this is football.

Josh Widdicombe (3:38)

I know. In the past, that's part of the atmosphere. That's a child. He's shouting man on.