The Toxic Fuel That’s Destroying Your Motivation - Dr K HealthyGamer - #1007

**Chris Williamson** (0:00)
All right, before we get started, I am going on tour. My live show, Self Discovery, that's sold out in the UK, it's sold out in Australia, is coming to you. If you're in New York, Boston, Chicago, Austin, Salt Lake City or Denver, you can get your tickets right now at chriswilliamson.live. Toronto's sold out, LA's sold out, Vancouver's sold out and Nashville, all sold out already. This is the final time I'll ever do this show. It's an hour and a half long. It's a solo show with me on stage. There's a Q&A at the end. Zach Talander's warming up with music for me. It's gonna be awesome. Come out and see it. Tickets are limited. Chris Williamson, .live. Talk to me about toxic fuel.

**Dr. K** (0:35)
Um, so if we look at motivation, a lot of the way that we motivate ourselves is using certain emotions, certain ideas of who we want to be. Like, I suck and I don't want to suck. I need to be better. So I'll motivate myself using toxic fuel. So these are motivators that will actually get you from point A to point B or maybe even point Z, but will cost you a lot in the process. So a good example of toxic fuel is, I want to live up to the expectations that people place on me. Another excellent toxic fuel is anger. So a lot of people will feel really motivated when they're angry. And then if the anger goes away, then their motivation declines. And so you're sort of stuck in this situation where the things that you need to motivate you are things that will cost you a lot in the process. And the main reason that we sort of do that is because the sources of toxic fuel tend to be, neurologically speaking, the most powerful motivators. So if we look at like anger, right, anger is a core survival mechanism. Even things like fear, people will be motivated by fear all the time that they don't really connect these dots. But if I think about, I don't want people to be disappointed in me, I don't want to screw up, right? So if you have those kinds of thoughts, I see this all the time in the medical students that I work with because they're very high neuroticism. They don't want to fail tests. So that fear pushes them to stay in the library on Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night for a test on Monday. So it gets the job done, neurologically really, really potent, but wires your motivational system in a way that will burn you out.

**Chris Williamson** (2:20)
Why?

**Dr. K** (2:22)
Why does it burn you out?

**Chris Williamson** (2:23)
Yes.

**Dr. K** (2:25)
Because if you sort of look at the cost, right? So if I'm utilizing anger or fear to motivate myself, I may do the job. So I may sort of end up on Monday morning prepared for a test. But if you look at the effect on my physiology, it's drastic. My cortisol levels are through the roof. My adrenaline levels are through the roof. My reticular activating system, which is like this part in the back of your brain.

**Chris Williamson** (2:51)
Threat, threat.

**Dr. K** (2:52)
Yeah. And also wakefulness, wakefulness, wakefulness. Like we're in danger. We don't get a good night's sleep. We don't want a good night's sleep. We need to be able to wake up very, very easily. So I think when people utilize toxic fuel, it tends to run them ragged. I think also they tend to be very unhappy. So here's the other problem. So if I am motivated by fear to get an A on a test, I bounce between terrified and relief, right? I'm moving from negative 100 back to zero. Now the test is over. I feel relief. I feel a loss of the pressure, but I don't feel grateful. I don't feel happy. I don't feel content. In fact, the first thing that will happen is I'll, thank God I have a break. When the next test rolls around, I'm going to have to do this all over again.

**Chris Williamson** (3:37)
What's a healthier way to look at this?

**Dr. K** (3:40)
That is a long question. It's not a simple question, but I would say setting up, there's a couple ways to look at it. So one is like a more scientific approach. One is a more spiritual approach. I'm actually going to start with the spiritual because I think that works really, really well.

**Chris Williamson** (3:55)
Are you going to use the accent?

**Dr. K** (3:57)
I can if you want me to.

**Chris Williamson** (3:58)