The Science Behind a Better Midlife| Dr. Margie E. Lachman

**Margie E. Lachman** (0:00)
I really think it's important for us to focus on why is it that middle has such a negative connotation. I think with regard to the middle of the lifespan, many people associate it with aging and we have a very negative view of aging in our society. So I think when people get to midlife, they think of their lives as maybe it's half over. And I think it's so important for us to change the narrative.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:25)
Welcome to the Midlife Chrysalis podcast with Chip Conley. Where we explore how midlife isn't a crisis, but a Chrysalis, a time of profound transformation that can lead to the most meaningful chapter of your life.

**Chip Conley** (0:41)
Welcome to the Midlife Chrysalis. This is Chip Conley. A few years ago, I think it was actually five years ago, five or six years ago, I wrote a white paper, my attempt at trying to be academic, called The Emergence of Long Life Learning, with a PhD who was an MEA grad. And I cited, I read all kinds of white papers and other scholarly journals and I cited one person in the white paper more than anybody else. And that was this woman who is with us right now, Margie Lachman. She is a Brandeis professor. She's in almost in her mid-70s. And she has a new book out called Prime Time, A New Vision for Midlife.
This is a great book. It is a really, it's taking a lot of what she's learned in the academic setting and making it mainstream. So we're going to talk a little bit about why midlife is such a pivotal period. The decisions we make in midlife have a huge impact on the rest of our life. There's no uniform age in midlife. You know, someone at 50 could be very different depending upon whether you have, you know, you're an empty nester or you all of a sudden have a two-year-old and a four-year-old at home. So talk a little bit about MIDUS, M-I-D-U-S, which is the number one study ever done on midlife in the world and in the US. So for those of you who are geeks like me, you're going to enjoy it. But also we get started in this episode with her personal story, which is her mother passing at a very young age, which opened the door to her on the idea of, you know, why not study this life stage that her mother really never got to experience? So I hope you enjoy it. At the end, I'll tell you my three key lessons.
Dr. Margie Lachman, welcome to The Midlife Chrysalis.
Not the crisis. You and I have said very similar things. Ninety-nine point ninety percent of the world, you say the word midlife and what do they say? They say crisis, but I'm hoping in the future they'll say Chrysalis. Welcome. You are just a remarkable and esteemed expert on midlife.

**Margie E. Lachman** (2:44)
Chip, thank you so much for having me. I'm really delighted to be with you.

**Chip Conley** (2:48)
I have your book here, Prime Time, A New Vision for Midlife, that is Lessons from Lifespan to Psychology, from your work at Brandeis and your work with the MIDUS program, which we'll talk about, MIDUS. You, in the book, you actually talk about your mom. I'd love to start with that if that's okay.
Not because I want to break you down to cry, but because I want you to say your origin story for what got you so interested in midlife, because you lost your mom when she was 43

**Margie E. Lachman** (3:20)
Yes. That's actually part of the last chapter, but it is a good place to start, because it certainly did have an influence on my whole life. It is a poignant part of the book, I will say. It really is, in many ways, a sad thing that my mother didn't make it through midlife.
It was very difficult. She had three children. I was the oldest, but it was really a tragedy in many ways. I always think if she had had the breast cancer today, she would have lived, but they didn't really know as much back then. So unfortunately, it progressed and she passed away. But I think I did take many lessons from it. Now, I didn't realize it at the time, but as I started to work on adult development and aging and midlife, what I realized is that I really had a fairly positive view of aging, and I didn't worry as much about some of the negative things that happen with aging, because I think she missed out on so many things, and I thought I was just lucky to be able to be alive and to experience aging. So I think that's probably the biggest impact that it had on me.