The Real Flex Isn't Getting What Everyone Else Wants… It's Not Wanting It in the First Place

**Matthew Gottesman** (0:02)
Welcome to The Niche Is You. My name is Matt Gottesman, at Matt Gottesman on Instagram, and this is my daily podcast where I create short, quick hitting episodes to help you uncomplicate life, creativity, and the pursuit of your highest self. There's only main character energy here. Now let's get into it.
Welcome to episode 829, The Real Flex Isn't Getting What Everyone Else Wants. It's not wanting it in the first place.
Really, this is about freedom of freedom, of what's the game in life that you want to play?
What's the life that you want to build? What do you actually want? What does success actually look like for you versus constantly comparing to a world that is very visually stimulating, which is constantly showing you outputs and metrics and all the shiny objects? If you're an entrepreneur, you know this one for sure, the shiny object syndrome, like the ability to get so distracted by something right away from just something new and something exciting. And well, you know, I mean, the world operates that way. And I found that the when you want to deepen the level of mastery with your work or you, you're you go even further into like what you're called to. And you see this, by the way, you see this with living athletes and artists, with those artists and athletes that have passed. There's just a different level of play. The the results they get from the work might be from the world. You might see the metrics or the byproduct of their work, but that's not why they do it. And so they're not chasing the world's things. They're not chasing what everybody else wants. They're developing craft and they are designing their kingdom. They are designing their life. They are working with their God given talents. They are sharpening their faith. They are deep within the work. And in order to stay, in my opinion, in order to stay in that level of depth of work, you do have to drown out a lot of, you have to have the blinders, right, on from what the rest of the world might be chasing or presenting as what you need. And because, and this is something very fundamental, that if the world distracts you, you may start to build things for reasons other than that are more organic for you. And that's why I say, like, the real flex isn't getting what everyone else wants. Not like, oh, let me, let me, I like that person's life and that person's life, and I want to get what they want, and I want to go after those things, I want to have that thing and that thing. It's not wanting it in the first place. When you are detached from needing that metric, that external thing, and you are aligned with purpose of what you are building or creating or wanting to do in this world, forget it. That makes you a very beautifully dangerous place to play from. You are playing an entirely different game. I want to talk about the deepest form of freedom is knowing what game you're actually playing, not playing everybody else's game. That's why this isn't just about not playing everybody else's trends and not playing everybody else's wants and what they're creating. And again, we can be inspired. I'm inspired. There are certain people, the way that they have built their life, I am inspired by them. And at the same time, I love the responsibility of building in a way that God has for me. And I love the ability to take the time to get to know what is that for me? What does God want from me? And using the blueprint that we have available to how we steward our gifts, how do we steward family and money and a life, right? So in this episode, I want to talk about why wanting what everyone else wants automatically puts you in a chase mode and maybe what that's costing you. We don't want to be in a chase mode. Chase, believe it or not, chase is very interesting. It can have you look, and it can have you feel all kinds of ways, including anxious. But think about this. Some people say, no, it's like, I'm on my grind. I'm going to make it happen. Like, yeah, okay. Yes. I agree with showing up to do the work, but be careful of grind striving and chasing mentality because one, it may never be enough, no matter how much you get. Two, how much of it do you start to force of your own will versus receiving God's grace and provision and assistance? God wants to help us.