The Psychology Of Speaking Under Pressure | Matt Abrahams

Michael Gervais (0:00)

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Matt Abrahams (1:28)

The biggest fear people have is I'm going to be up in a high-stakes moment and I'm going to blank out. Two things to do, and if you know these two things, they reduce the likelihood of that moment happening because you know you have tools to get you through it.

Michael Gervais (1:39)

First, when you're put on the spot, do you know how to be great in those moments?

Matt Abrahams (1:44)

A lot of us feel like some people are born with this ability to speak in the moment, to be present and to really be engaging, but all of us can learn it. It's a skill, and the irony is, you can prepare to be spontaneous.

Michael Gervais (1:57)

Welcome back, or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast, where we dive into the minds of the world's greatest thinkers and doers. I'm your host, Dr. Michael Gervais. Today's guest is Matt Abrahams, Lecturer in Organizational Behavior at Stanford Graduate School of Business, host of the Think Fast, Talk Smart podcast, and author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter, How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot.

Matt Abrahams (2:22)

A lot of us, when we communicate, we just list and itemize information, and we make it very difficult for somebody to follow along what we're saying. We take our audiences on a journey of our own discovery of what we're saying while we're saying it, and that can be very difficult.

Michael Gervais (2:35)

In this conversation, Matt shares how to manage the anxiety that shows up when the spotlight is on, why communication is a trainable skill, and why the goal is not to try to sound perfect, rather to create connection.

Matt Abrahams (2:47)

We mostly listen for the top line. I just get sort of the initial idea of what you're saying, and I begin rehearsing, judging, evaluating. I turn very inward, and I've lost the connection. So the opposite of the top line to me is the bottom line. And so that's where I came to that idea, and most people can relate to that.

Michael Gervais (3:03)

With that, let's jump into this week's conversation with Matt Abrahams.

Matt, your research and what you have pointed to is something that I think all of us can see ourselves in, which is this little moment that pops up. And in that nano of a second, within a couple of heartbeats, boom, all of a sudden we're flooded with an anxiousness, a temperature change, and the required need to say something in front of other people. And so, do you have a name for this experience?

Matt Abrahams (3:43)

Sometimes I call it an oh crap moment. It's that moment where all of a sudden the spotlight is on you, and maybe you knew it was coming, often you don't, and you have that moment of, I have to step up or I have to run away.

Michael Gervais (3:55)

What do you hope the viewer will receive from this conversation?

Matt Abrahams (4:01)

I'd love everybody to know that this is a skill you can work on. A lot of us feel like some people are born with this ability to speak in the moment, to be present, and to really be engaging, but all of us can learn it. It's a skill. It's just like any athlete. You can learn it, you can train it, and the irony is, you can prepare to be spontaneous.