The Psychology of Limiting Beliefs | Nir Eyal

Nir Eyal (0:00)

A belief is not a fact. A fact is an objective truth. It is something that is true whether you believe in it or not. On the other end of the spectrum is faith. Faith is a strongly held conviction that does not require evidence. In the middle is a belief, a conviction that is open to revision based on new evidence.

Michael Gervais (0:16)

What if the biggest barrier between you and your potential isn't talented, but a belief that you've never questioned?

Nir Eyal (0:23)

If you've got two people are running a marathon, and one says to themselves, I cannot do this. The other says, I think I can do this. Let's say they have the exact same physical ability. The belief is not a fact, the belief is just perception. Who are you going to bet on to win the race?

Michael Gervais (0:38)

Welcome back or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast, where we dive into the minds of the world's greatest thinkers and doers. I'm your host, Dr. Michael Gervais.

SPEAKER_3 (0:46)

A high-performance psychologist named Michael Gervais.

Michael Gervais (0:48)

Who Pete Carroll brought in to work with the Seahawks.

SPEAKER_3 (0:51)

Famous for his work with Felix Baumgartner when he jumped out of space in the Stratos Project.

SPEAKER_4 (0:56)

Olympic athletes depend on something more than just training and talent.

SPEAKER_3 (0:59)

They have to stay mentally tough.

Michael Gervais (1:02)

Today's conversation is with Nir Eyal, best-selling author of Hooked and Indistractable. In this episode, it centers on his new book, Beyond Belief, which explores how the hidden assumptions we carry shape what we see, what we feel, and what we're capable of achieving.

Nir Eyal (1:16)

A limiting belief is defined as a belief that either saps motivation or increases suffering. A liberating belief is a belief that supplies motivation or decreases suffering. It's very difficult to take out those limiting beliefs. It's even more difficult to flip them around into a liberating belief, but that's the process we have to go through.

Michael Gervais (1:33)

As you listen, consider this. Are your beliefs expanding your potential or quietly defining your limits?

Nir Eyal (1:40)

I can tell you how a belief that helps people live a much longer life, and this research blew my mind. This came out of Yale a few years ago.

Michael Gervais (1:47)

With that, let's jump into this week's conversation with Nir Eyal.

Nir Eyal (1:57)

Thank you, this is a huge honor. I appreciate you having me.

Michael Gervais (2:00)

Oh yeah, for sure. So I've loved all of your books.

Nir Eyal (2:04)

Thanks.

Michael Gervais (2:04)

Yeah, and this is number three in the stack.

Nir Eyal (2:06)

Number three.

Michael Gervais (2:07)

And let's maybe start with why you wanted to go after beliefs. And let's start at the ground floor. You know, like, what is a belief? But first, why did you want to understand beliefs?

Nir Eyal (2:18)

I think beliefs, it turns out, are the operating system, the software of our minds that we don't even realize we have this operating system running in the background.

For me, it was a little bit of the frustration for my past two books. And here's what would happen. With Indistractable, you know, I spent five years writing it. I really wanted to dive into the psychology of distraction. I started with first principles. And every week I do these office hours where anybody can call me and we can talk about whatever they want to talk about. If they read one of my books, you know, I love talking to readers.

Michael Gervais (2:46)

Oh, wow.

Nir Eyal (2:46)

Yeah. And so I do every single week. So I do an hour every week, 15 minutes of four calls. And maybe, you know, one out of every 20 calls would sound something like this. Somebody would call me and say, Hey, Nir, I read Indistractable. Great book. I really enjoyed it. But it didn't work. I'd say, oh, wow, tell me more. You know, it changed my life. And I spent five years researching it, 30 pages of citations, peer-reviewed studies. And I really wanted to make sure it worked. Tell me what happened. Let's talk about step one. How did step one go for you? Well, you know, Nir, I read step one. I read it. I just didn't do that one. No problem, I'd say. Let's go to step two. How did step two go for you?

Yeah, you know, I didn't get to that one either. I didn't do it. And at first, I was kind of offended. You know, I spent so much of my life writing this book about a problem that everybody says is so awful, is so insurmountable, the world is so distracting. Here you go, on a silver platter. Here, here's the answer. Just do these four steps. It changed my life. Take you an hour and a half to read it. It'll change your life. And then I realized, I do this too. That I have books on the shelf piling up that I haven't read. That I've talked to coaches and gurus and experts and heard their advice, but not acted on it. Why? Why is it, especially today, when we are drowning in information, we all basically know what to do. You know, if you want to get in shape for 99% of the population, eat, write and exercise. Not much has changed. If you want to have a start a business, you have to do the things that other people don't want to do. If you want to have a great family and relationships, you have to be fully present with the ones you love. We know what to do. So why don't we do it? And what I realize is that it's not enough just to know. That you can have the behavior, know the benefit, but you still won't do it. You still will lose motivation to follow through. And I think it's because we have a fundamental misunderstanding of how motivation works. We think it's a straight line, right? Between here's what I want and so here's what I have to do. A kind of classic economics. But motivation isn't a straight line. It's a triangle. And so this is where the inspiration for Beyond Belief came from. When what I discovered is that you not only have to have an understanding of the behavior. Here's what I have to do. You not only need to want the benefit, but holding the triangle together is the belief. For example, if I don't believe that I will get the benefit, maybe I work for a boss who I don't think has my best interests at heart. Well, then I don't believe I'm going to get that promotion or that raise. Much more common, and this leads into the limiting beliefs that we have in our life, if I don't believe that I can do the behavior, if I don't believe that I'm capable for whatever reason, I will self-sabotage and not do even when I know what I'm supposed to do. And so this was the big conclusion, that if we want to sustain motivation, which we know that perseverance is the number one most defined trait that leads to success, perseverance and adaptability, well, then what is the secret behind motivation? It's not good enough just to know what to do or why you want to do it. There's that missing piece of belief that we don't really explore.