The Power of Pain, Narcissism, and Vulnerability | AMA Vol.6 with Dr. Mike Gervais

Michael Gervais (0:00)

If you want to live in the present moment more often, I would start with mindfulness. Become intimately aware of how triggers influence your thoughts, and how once you get on a thought train, it takes you down a path. Become great at understanding that.

Welcome back to another Ask Me Anything on Finding Mastery. Once again, it's an incredible honor to answer the questions you're all sending in. And I'm so stoked to welcome back a dear friend of the podcast for this AMA. Actor, improv artist, host of his own podcast, Three Black Guys on a Couch, O'Neill Sespedes. He's here to bring his curiosity and candor to this conversation.

Your thoughtful questions led us to some really important topics. We'll dive into the power of pain as it ignites both purpose and growth, if narcissism is necessary for success, how underdogs make for good company, and why a simple question like, how are you, helps us to explore our relationship with our own authenticity. As always, feel free to email us at info at findingmastery.net with feedback or any questions you have for future AMAs.

And if you're enjoying this podcast and haven't already, just a quick reminder to hit the subscribe or follow button and to drop us a review wherever you're listening. It is the easiest and zero cost way to support the show. And with that, let's jump right into the Mastery Lab with the ever insightful O'Neill Sespedes for another round of Ask Me Anything. O'Neill, it is great to have you back.

O'Neil Cespedes (1:42)

It's great to be back.

Michael Gervais (1:43)

Yeah. So I had so much fun on the last one that, and it was like people were totally vibing on the way that we connected.

O'Neil Cespedes (1:50)

That's awesome.

Michael Gervais (1:51)

And so, like, I thought we'd just take another run at it. But before we get started, like, how you doing with your phone?

O'Neil Cespedes (1:58)

I was afraid you were gonna ask me that. And so I prepped a response for you on the way over here.

I'm doing well with my phone.

Michael Gervais (2:09)

Okay, there's a boundary here, right?

O'Neil Cespedes (2:12)

Doing well with my phone.

Michael Gervais (2:13)

All right, and folks who might have missed the first conversation, O'Neill sleeps with his phone. So there's a lot there to unravel.

O'Neil Cespedes (2:20)

Yeah, there's a lot.

Meaning I sleep next to my phone in case you confuse. I sleep next to it all the time, even when I nap.

Michael Gervais (2:32)

So what have you been up to?

O'Neil Cespedes (2:35)

Nothing much. Our podcast, Three Black Guys on the Couch, been on that.

Just got back from New York a couple weeks ago. Probably heading back out there again. And just keeping busy.

Michael Gervais (2:46)

Yeah, that's what's up. Sometimes busy is the new school way of saying I'm good. Which I have a little bit of a rash when I hear busy. But do you equate busy with good?

O'Neil Cespedes (2:58)

No.

Michael Gervais (2:59)

No, you don't.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:00)

No.

Michael Gervais (3:00)

No.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:01)

But it's interesting because if you say, let's be real. Obviously, we should be honest with one another. But if you say, how you doing? What's going on? And I was like, man, I'm about to get evicted.

You know, my mom, her leg got amputated. Say, you know, I don't have any money to buy food.

Michael Gervais (3:17)

Hold on.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:17)

Hold on.

Michael Gervais (3:18)

I got to know. Like, I don't know. Is this real or not real? No, no.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:21)

But you're saying if you were to drag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I was to go into all of that, you'd be like, yo, bro, listen, man, I got a life to live. I don't want to hear all this heavy stuff. So even though we probably shouldn't, you know, fabricate on how well or unwell we're doing, you don't want to unload.

Michael Gervais (3:38)

Well, let's make an agreement. Okay. You and me.

So when we talk, like, let's just say what it is.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:46)

Okay, let's do it. I'm going to look you in the eye because I look to the left. Yes.

Michael Gervais (3:50)

Yeah, let's do that.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:51)

Let's do that. Let's do that.

Michael Gervais (3:52)

Both ways.

Both ways. Me too. And, you know, that's a good little promise to make. I like that because I vibe with what you're saying is that the social pleasantries were practicing being dishonest. Yeah, and then when we're practicing being dishonest, we are presenting a self and, you know, look at all the social media. It's the practice of the highlight reel. Yeah. And I think it's a bit, I don't know, I'm exhausted by it.