The Permission You're Waiting For Doesn't Exist

Jake Humphrey (0:03)

Hey, everyone, welcome along to another episode of High Performance with myself, Jake Humphrey.

Damian Hughes (0:08)

And me, Damian Hughes.

Jake Humphrey (0:09)

How are you?

Damian Hughes (0:10)

I'm good, mate. You?

Jake Humphrey (0:11)

I'm really well. And I'm excited to talk to you about this concept of the permission you're waiting for doesn't exist. Because I know for a fact that we people listening to this right now, who kind of know where they're at in life, but they have this vision of where they want to be.

And when they wonder why am I not the vision I wanted for myself, they often will think, well, because the moment hasn't arrived when I can go and become that thing. And the message that we're going to try and share during this episode, using clips from former guests that we've had on the show, is that often people who get to the place that we all want to get to, they don't wait for permission to begin that journey. They kind of, what's that phrase? They seek forgiveness rather than ask for permission. They just go for it, even if they don't have all of the data in front of them, that it's going to be successful.

And actually, I've come to the realization over the last seven years of doing this show that life is at its most exciting when you're doing things where you have no idea of the outcome, where there is genuine jeopardy on the line. But the truth is that it's also a very difficult place for some people to get to, like it feels seriously unsafe.

Damian Hughes (1:17)

Yeah, definitely. I love that line about the seek forgiveness rather than permission because it has been an echo through so many of our guests, Jake, and see like, do you remember that line that we spoke about before from Joseph Campbell, the anthropologist that said the treasure you seek is in the cave you most fear to go?

Jake Humphrey (1:35)

Yeah.

Damian Hughes (1:35)

And I think what we've seen so often is people not waiting for somebody to tell them to do it, not waiting for someone to allow them to do it, not waiting for the right time to do it, just going into the cave that you fear to tread, to go after the thing that you really want and I think understanding that that's part of our human condition. We all feel this comfort, ambiguity and uncertainty, but high performance is on the other side of that. So how do we get through it is what I'd love to explore.

Jake Humphrey (2:05)

And here's a question then, how do we want people to feel at the end of this episode? I'll give you a moment to think about it because I just sprung that on you. I want people to feel like they can take the leap, right? They can go into that cave that you just mentioned where they don't know what's inside or whether they're ever going to emerge in the right direction.

And they will either emerge in the place they want or they won't, but they will have more information for how to get to the place they want to get to. So it's kind of like, I'm hoping by the end of this episode, people feel that the quest for where they want to get to is a no-lose situation. Oh, I like that.

Damian Hughes (2:39)

Yeah, I'd go with that. Well, that's a cop out.

Jake Humphrey (2:42)

You have to come up with your own one.

Damian Hughes (2:43)

Yeah, yeah.

So I'd say I want to normalise fear. So people don't...

Jake Humphrey (2:48)

Yeah, that's a great shot. Normalise fear.

Damian Hughes (2:50)

Yeah, so get people to recognise that it's not a flaw in their thinking. It's a very natural response. They're responding exactly as you should do.

I remember years ago, right, when I started my business, I left a corporate job and it dawned on me then that we'd been so badly advised in our society that you hear people go, oh, just take the leap, take the bull by the horns, just have the courage to do it. And I remember at the time thinking, I feel terrified. I feel really frightened of walking away from a comfortable situation to the ambiguity of the unknown.

And I thought it was a flaw in my character that I felt like that rather than recognising. That's exactly what I should have been fearing. Because I was taking the leap, I was almost backing myself and I didn't know I had the evidence at that stage. So if people can come away from this and go, no, no, that's normal. It's not anything to do with a flaw in my character. It's a part of my chemistry that is functioning exactly as it should be. I see this episode as being a success.