The No.1 Celebrity Therapist: The WEIRD Trick To Get Your Sex Life Back, Fix Erections & Increase Fertility! - Marisa Peer

Marisa Peer (0:00)

I taught 16,000 therapists. There's only three things wrong with every person that turns up at your door.

Steven Bartlett (0:05)

First of all, Marisa Peer, the worldwide renown therapist, from royalty international superstars, CEOs, and Olympic athletes. This woman definitely knows a thing or two thousand about how we take control of our thoughts.

Marisa Peer (0:19)

80% of your success is down to your beliefs, but it also damages so many people because if you're thinking, I'm not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, your mind's job is to make your thoughts real even if it's not true. A classic example of sex. So many of my clients couldn't conceive because their husband didn't have enough sperm, but when men have sex with a stranger, they triple their sperm count and really damages so many people because it's an impossible expectation to live up to. So many people have affairs, not because they don't love their partner, but because they're missing out. But it's all about what you have chosen to believe. So you've got to reverse that language. And the other thing that people do a lot, it really messes up your sex life to call your partner mommy or daddy because...

Steven Bartlett (1:05)

Marisa, how do I avoid sugar that seems to grab me?

Marisa Peer (1:09)

Food has memory. It's not the chocolate. It's the feeling you felt when you couldn't have it. And you can give yourself the feeling without the thing anyway. It's really easy too.

Steven Bartlett (1:17)

How?

Marisa Peer (1:18)

Should I hypnotize you so we can change it?

Steven Bartlett (1:20)

Let's do it now.

Marisa Peer (1:21)

Okay. Close your eyes. And here's the magic sentence. It changes your life.

Steven Bartlett (1:30)

I got hypnotized. In this episode, Marisa hypnotizes me to completely end my sugar cravings. And you're going to see it happen and you're going to find out if it works. So stick around.

Marisa, I've been trying to figure something out. I've been trying to figure out if we get to choose our beliefs. And I actually wrote about this in my book recently, and I feel like you're the person to ask this question, because I know that our lives are governed by these beliefs that we have about the world, ourselves, and everything in between. But can we choose them?

Marisa Peer (2:10)

I think so. You know, when I was here last time, you asked me about my childhood, which I don't talk about a lot. It wasn't awful, but it also wasn't amazing. But the beliefs I had then are so totally different to the beliefs I have now because I chose to give myself better beliefs. Because, you know, you make your beliefs, and then your beliefs turn right around and make you. And then confirmation bias means you look for proof of what you have chosen to believe, and you'll find it. So if you say, oh, I hate cats. They're vicious things that scratch you. They're really aloof. Or I don't like dogs. They're barky, yappy, horrible things. Then if you believe that about a dog, and you meet a dog, you'll feel so anxious that that will become true. But if you say, oh, I love dogs, they're the most loyal, gorgeous, loving things, then you'll have a different energy around them. So you should choose your beliefs. You should constantly upgrade, update, question your belief. Where did I get that from? Is that true? Who told me that belief? And even if it's true for them, does it have to be true for me? You know, I see a lot of women who say things like, well, you know, if you're really famous and rich, you'll never find a guy because a hundred years ago, that was probably true. Men didn't go for rich, successful women because they wanted them at home, but it's not true now. So your grandmother's belief is not your belief. I love my daughter's generation who don't do body shaming or fat shaming and have a whole different language, but I think it's so refreshing. So you can always choose your beliefs and you really should constantly check, why do I even believe that? Is it even true? Because so often it's not true at all. It's just something you've been taught or you've just gone along with it anyway.

Steven Bartlett (3:45)

So in the case of cats then, I like all animals, but cats, I do think the way you described them, they're a little bit scratchy, sometimes a little bit annoying, not as loving as dogs, maybe I'm going to annoy a lot of cat people here.

If that is my belief, if I say to myself, okay, cats are wonderful, they're lovely, they're fantastic, they don't scratch, etc. I feel like I'm just lying to myself. This is the case with self-belief as well. I could say that I'm amazing and attractive and all these things, but in my subconscious mind, after getting bullied at seven years old by a kid that called me fat and whatever else, am I just not lying to myself?