The Moist Child Will See You Now

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it at progressive.com.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states.

Jeff Gerstmann (0:39)

Hey, what's happening, everybody? Welcome to the show. It's The Jeff Gerstmann Show for September 8th, let's say. September 8th, 2026 Welcome to your home for the wettest elf boys in town. That sounds like a, that doesn't, I don't know. It doesn't seem like the, it doesn't seem like it's gonna go well. It's glistening children. No? Is that not?

Today is the day, of course, for the first of two Nintendo directs this morning was The Legend of Zelda focused one, which I thought was funny because they just had like a couple of very brief announcements with no details. And then a bunch of Ocarina of Time stuff for the, for the upcoming remake naturally. Um, there's, there's a moment there where, you know, they're talking about the movie. They don't show the movie. I think a lot of people expected like, oh, there's going to be a trailer for the film. Of course, they'll have a new trailer for the movie in there. Why wouldn't they? They did not. But they did announce a release date of sometime in April. And they announced the name of the film, which is called The Legend of Zelda. I know, I was pretty fucking blown away myself. You got Miyamoto up there with these blazing announcements. Yeah, please, please look forward to our upcoming film, which is titled The Legend of Zelda. Like, okay. I don't know. The pictures I saw looked like a guy. Is the guy named Zelda? What is it? This seems crazy. I don't know. Is it, if we get...

Can we get to the bottom of this? Is this gonna actually be Nathan Fielder interviewing someone for like a couple hours about elf boys? Like, okay, can we get in on this? Is this, what's the situation here?

And they're gonna be touring an orchestra around the world playing The Legend of Zelda music. And there are new Legend of Zelda-themed graphics in the Nintendo Today app. So yeah, there's a lot going on over at Nintendo.

The game, of course, you know, when they, when they announced, when they finally announced, hey, we're doing an Ocarina of Time remake, which, you know, the existence of such had leaked fairly, uh, you know, fairly, uh, uh, reliably prior to that announcement, right? And so the, um... So the, the, the, the initial reveal was just like Link sleeping in a bed and it kind of looked like shit and, like, there's a lot of stuff in here that just looks weird. Uh, and they did not spend a lot of time on it and did not give any meaningful detail on it and whatever else. And so this was them saying, like, all right, fine, here you go. We're gonna, uh, we're gonna, we're gonna play the game in front of you. We're gonna show some actual gameplay. We're gonna take a look at, uh, you know, a new trailer for it. And, uh, we're gonna break down all of the great integrated phone app features. Which, I, God bless, I'm first continuing to try to, the Nintendo Switch app is gonna integrate. You can already, you know, I know you're all buying Splatoon clothing, but let's also write down notes for a Zelda thing. And maybe you can transfer money over to the app and use it to unlock, level up your egg. So there's like a bunch of weird, silly shit, that they're doing for phones. The big news, the thing that's got everyone talking about this Ocarina of Time remake, obviously, and this is something that I think, you know, we talked about like wondering how they would handle it back when they hadn't really showed it, but they just straight up put it in there. Link can jump. They, Link can fucking jump, dude. I know, they are creating an Ocarina of Time remake and they are going to allow you to jump at will. He can swim, he can jump. It's, it's fucking crazy. And I'm not talking no Z-targeting little sidestepping hop type deal. This mother, he can, he can jump. Link can jump. It's a big deal. This is actually literally is something that I think I spent like a good chunk of time thinking about. I wonder how they're going to handle that. Because when we go back to the, the original release of Ocarina of Time and the, the confining and incoherent nature of the Nintendo 64 controller, they had to make some choices, right? You know, like they opened the gameplay footage with literally the camera rotating around, and then like literally talked shit about the N64 controller. Like, look at all this free camera movement. You might remember that the N64 controller only had a single control stick, which my daughter who was watching with me this morning turned to me and said like, it only has one stick? What? I said, yeah, it's a bad, it's bad.