The Manipulation Expert: Most People Don't Realise They're Narcissists! You're Setting Your Child Up For Misery!

Robert Greene (0:00)

Everybody has narcissistic tendencies, and we're all self-absorbed, but nobody wants to admit it. It's always somebody else. It's always Donald Trump. It's always Elon Musk. But everyone has a manipulative side. There are no saints in this world.

Steven Bartlett (0:11)

But can you use it productively?

Robert Greene (0:13)

Yes, most definitely. There's deep narcissists who are very problematic, and there's healthy narcissists. And knowing the distinction between the two will help save you years of misery.

Steven Bartlett (0:22)

What if I'm dealing with a narcissist?

Robert Greene (0:24)

I want you to do this following.

SPEAKER_3 (0:27)

Robert Greene is one of the most influential writers in history. Unraveling the secrets of power, strategy, and human psychology that are essential for purpose, resilience, and success.

Steven Bartlett (0:35)

What is it about human nature that we just don't want to admit?

Robert Greene (0:38)

One is that envy is deeply ingrained in all of us. In fact, always wanting to be better and superior to others is the most motivating factor of 90% of human behavior. But if you don't admit it to yourself, that ugly emotion is like a nuclear bomb to all aspects of life. It will seize you by the throat and make you miserable. But there's also understanding things like we all judge on appearances, that everyone has a dark side, and that we are all actors. And I will get into the nitty-gritty of all of them, because it's really about how powerful people use those traits for their success.

Steven Bartlett (1:12)

People are lonelier than ever. And when you look at the impact that's having, it's equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. What is the antidote for this?

Robert Greene (1:20)

I empathize with it very much so because when I was younger, I was losing in the game of life. I was very depressed and even suicidal. But what lifted me out was...

Steven Bartlett (1:33)

I find it incredibly fascinating that when we look at the back end of Spotify and Apple and our audio channels, the majority of people that watch this podcast haven't yet hit the follow button or the subscribe button wherever you're listening to this. I would like to make a deal with you. If you could do me a huge favour and hit that subscribe button, I will work tirelessly from now until forever to make the show better and better and better and better. I can't tell you how much it helps when you hit that subscribe button. The show gets bigger which means we can expand the production, bring in all the guests you want to see and continue to do in this thing we love. If you could do me that small favour and hit the follow button, wherever you're listening to this, that would mean the world to me. That is the only favour I will ever ask you. Thank you so much for your time. At this moment in time, what do you believe your followers, your fans, the people that love your books, what do you believe that they're struggling with the most? And I'm asking this question because I imagine you get thousands of DMs and messages from these people. What are the common themes?

Robert Greene (2:34)

Well, the most common question I get, particularly from people in their 20s, is they don't really know where they're headed, they don't know what their career is. What I call in mastery, their life's task. And I talk a lot about it in interviews and in the book Mastery, and I make the point that it is the most important decision in your life, figuring out what you were destined for, why you were born, what you were created for, what makes you unique. And I say that everything from that realization, from that understanding kind of stems from that. Your sense of fulfillment, your happiness, everything will come from that one realization. And a lot of young people are very confused right now, and I don't blame them. These are very, very confusing times that they're going through, much more confusing than anything I had to deal with. Particularly, I think, the influence of technology and social media. And what I mean by that is to know who you are, to know what you were meant to do in life, why you were born, what makes you unique, requires a lot of reflection on yourself, self-awareness, self-knowledge. You have to go inward. And when your attention is always focused so much on what other people are doing, what other people are saying, you know, what they think is hot, what they think is cool, you become kind of a stranger to yourself, right? So when I talk about that concept to them, it's like, it sounds interesting, Robert, but I have no idea what that is. I don't know what my life's task is.