The First Openly Gay NBA Player On the Power of Courage, Leadership, and Empathy | John Amaechi

Michael Gervais (0:00)

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SPEAKER_2 (1:37)

Amaechi is no ordinary British sportsman.

John Amaechi (1:39)

John is just 17 years old and is joining the Cleveland Cavaliers as the first British person ever to play in the NBA. The dream had come true. There's one player in the history of the NBA that has started at the age of 17 and six years later been starting in the NBA. That is me. People are interested in the fact that I happen to be gay. Not anything else about it. Just, oh, to be known as the gay NBA player.

Michael Gervais (2:04)

What if the greatest act of rebellion in your life is refusing to apologize for who you are?

John Amaechi (2:10)

When I came out, I realized that there was about a 20 percent group of people who were warm and supportive, and some part of that number were grateful, and that there was a 5 percent group that were vociferously hateful. They hated me. I had more death threats in that period than you can imagine.

Michael Gervais (2:29)

Welcome back, or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast, where we dive into the minds of the world's greatest thinkers and doers. I am your host, Dr Michael Gervais. I trade and training a high-performance psychologist. And the idea behind these conversations is simple. It's to sit with the extraordinaries and to learn, to really learn how they work from the inside out. Today's conversation is with John Amaechi, former NBA player, New York Times bestselling author, associate fellow of the British Psychological Society, and someone who has spent a lifetime choosing dignity, truth, and courage over fitting in.

John Amaechi (3:04)

I went to Manchester Pride, and I look over my shoulder, and there's a kid crouched behind tombstone watching the pride parade. Ian McKellen's doing the thing, waving from side to side. He waves in our general direction, and this kid rises as if lifted from behind the tombstone. How awesome is that? A wave from a stranger from a distance. I was like, damn it, I've got to come out in America.

Michael Gervais (3:29)

John didn't set out to be the first openly gay NBA player. He set out to be himself. You were not afraid in that moment.

John Amaechi (3:37)

Oh, totally afraid.

Michael Gervais (3:38)

You were afraid, and you did it anyways. Yeah. Why did you tell the truth?

John Amaechi (3:41)

Principles aren't principles until they're dinged a little bit, right? So you realize that there might be consequence from it. But also, there is something important about not denying who you are.

Michael Gervais (3:51)

This is a conversation about carving your own path. It is about resilience, sovereignty, and the courage to hold on to your truth when the world tells you not to. How did you manage that time when you had that level of vitriol pointed at you?

John Amaechi (4:06)

I don't believe I've even asked that question before. I think...

Michael Gervais (4:11)

With that, let's jump into this week's conversation with John Amaechi. Okay, John, here we go. I'm so stoked to sit with you. You've been leading from the front for a long time. And so, just to get us started, can you describe how you're spending your days now, before we go into some of your history and where you've been?