The Fine Line Between Burnout and Mastery | AMA Vol. 25 with Dr. Michael Gervais

Michael Gervais (0:00)

Welcome back, or welcome to another Ask Me Anything on Finding Mastery. I am your host, Dr. Michael Gervais, by trade and training a high-performance psychologist. And the purpose behind these conversations is to hear from you, to explore the questions and challenges that you've been wrestling with on your path to becoming. Joining me as always is my co-host, O'Neill Sespedes, and today's AMA is a little different. Instead of having O'Neill read your questions, we had you call in to ask your questions. We loved this format. It was great to hear your voices. And we dove into some really fun concepts like combating burnout at the end of the year, building habits and the importance of morning routines, how to build self-trust, calm and confidence. If there is utility in cultivating alter egos, how to maintain high performance while not being connected to the results, and of course so much more, thank you for those who called in. We love digging in to what matters to you. So keep the questions coming, and I really hope that you enjoy this AMA as much as we did. So with that, let's dive right into Vol. 25 of Finding Mastery's Ask Me Anything.

O'Neil, we're back.

O'Neil Cespedes (1:18)

Back like we never left.

Michael Gervais (1:19)

It does feel that way with you. What have you been up to?

O'Neil Cespedes (1:23)

A lot, man. A lot. I was in New York for a while, soaking up some culture. Broke on block parties, even though I missed every last one of them. I'm directing a play. I'm starring in. That's daunting, man. I'm drained.

Michael Gervais (1:38)

Tell me more.

O'Neil Cespedes (1:39)

Othello, doing it during the holidays. And I've never directed a play before, right? So I thought I could.

Michael Gervais (1:46)

You're directing and leading?

O'Neil Cespedes (1:47)

I'm directing and leading in it. So yeah, I'm splitting myself in two. And it's just been... I've never been a person that's at least admitted that I've been stressed out, right? I'm like, but man, I'm stressed out. And I'm trying to keep my same daily routine that I keep while doing that. Like I'm getting up at five in the morning, I'm working out, I'm doing jiu-jitsu, I'm lifting them. When I'm trying to do everything I can do, I'm always fucking drained. Because by the time I'm done with play rehearsal at 10 p.m., I get home, I'm done. Sometimes I'm having headaches, a whole bunch of weird stuff that I've never experienced before. I'm like, damn, my stomach is always bothering me. Like my stomach is always bothering me. And I'm like, well, how do I, how the fuck am I supposed to sink all this in? Because I want to get this done. Let me just go hard. Because I'm told to go hard. Just go hard. Stop being a bitch. Go hard. I mean a female dog when I say bitch.

Maz (2:37)

Oh my God.

Michael Gervais (2:40)

You know how I've said, like, previous AMAs, like, all right, I'm in a mood. I'm catching one for you right now.

O'Neil Cespedes (2:45)

I'm in a mood. I'm in a mood. You asked me how I was like, couldn't wait. I was driving here like, I can't wait to tell the doctor how I feel about stuff.

Michael Gervais (2:50)

So what is the, like, what's the mood?

O'Neil Cespedes (2:53)

Man, I don't know how I'm going to get it done.

Michael Gervais (2:55)

So is it overwhelmed? Is it fatigued? Overwhelmed. Is it like anxious?

O'Neil Cespedes (2:59)

Overwhelmed and anxious.

Michael Gervais (3:01)

Overwhelmed and anxious?

O'Neil Cespedes (3:02)

Yeah.

Michael Gervais (3:03)

Fatigue system?

O'Neil Cespedes (3:04)

That too. I throw it all in there.

Michael Gervais (3:05)

So you got all of those?

O'Neil Cespedes (3:07)

Yeah, I'm at all of that.

Michael Gervais (3:08)

And then when you're in that state, what's the coping mechanism? Is it quick to frustration and tolerance?

O'Neil Cespedes (3:16)

100 percent.

Michael Gervais (3:19)

You're leaking right now. And your loved ones suffer the most?

O'Neil Cespedes (3:23)

Yeah, pretty much.

Michael Gervais (3:27)

So it's not like you get small and go into a hole. It's not like you could become depressed and more subdued in that way. It's like you do more and then you have a shorter fuse.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:38)

A shorter fuse. I was riding down Sunset in Echo Park with Kaisa. And the Dodgers are playing. Man, I was like, I hate Dodger fans.

I hate them. Look at them. And she's like, yo, what's wrong with y'all? I was like, my bad, my bad. And then this car pulled out and I was like, I hate them type of cars. I don't know why. Why would people buy them cars? She's like, yo, you're going through it right now. I'm like, okay, yeah, sorry.