The Decision That Scares You the Most Is Often the One Your Future Self Has Already Made

**Matthew Gottesman** (0:02)
Welcome to The Niche Is You. My name is Matt Gottesman, at Matt Gottesman on Instagram, and this is my daily podcast where I create short, quick hitting episodes to help you uncomplicate life, creativity, and the pursuit of your highest self. There's only main character energy here. Now let's get into it.
Welcome to episode 808 The decision that scares you the most is often the one your future self has already made.
Your soul knows, your intuition knows. And if you think about it, it not only knows it, in a lot of ways, it's waiting just for you to just enact it, just to do it. And sometimes there's a gap in between knowing it and doing it, right? I did an episode, many, many episodes ago, titled The Can You Close The Gap Between Your Intuition and Execution? From the moment you receive the information, to when you actually partake in just doing the thing. Your future self, your soul, has already made the decision. It's already trying to guide you this whole time. But I get it, like, there's a lot of reasons why we struggle with working through the decision that we know we need to do right now. Right, and I want to have a conversation about that, because maybe we can bring a little relief as to why that's happening, and also still hold ourselves accountable for doing it. So why the fear around certain choices is actually confirmation that you already know what to do.
Fear can feel very debilitating. It can feel very just like just a stronghold over you, right? I mean, we've all dealt with fear, and it can feel very real. It can feel very real. You're like, no, I'm actually feeling this thing. Yes. And it's also what maybe the body is trying to tell you of like, hey, the relief of the fear is doing the thing, or having the conversation, or working through it. In any environment, a person that doesn't allow you to do that tells you perfectly what you already, then even confirms it even more, right? So in this episode, let's talk about why the decisions that carry the most fear are usually the most aligned. Not always, but there's a lot. The decisions that carry the most fear, more often than not, are usually the most aligned. Also, let's talk about how your future self has already resolved, but your current self is still debating. Future self is like, we've already gotten through this phase, where there are things in your life you know that you're meant to do, or there's things that you can feel it, the desire, you hear me say it all the time, the desire is replacing your heart from God. There's things like maybe it's a marriage, maybe it's a career path, maybe it's a place that you're supposed to live. You know it, you can feel it, you don't even know why you know it, it's just been placed in your heart.
And maybe current self is still debating what it would take to get there. You know, I remind you guys of this every now and then, inside the show notes, there's the Clarity Workshop, it's free, I just have had it there since the beginning of the show, and I think 15, 16,000 of you now have gone through it. And the very first exercise is called The Average Perfect Day, and it's always about looking in the future, like, how does a day that if you had designed it your way, would it look? And then there's 23 very specific questions that ask you for every part of the day, what it would be that you would be doing in that exact moment or and a bunch of other questions, which I'll save them for you actually downloading it. But the point being is that if you, it's almost like if you answer these questions from your soul, it gives you an idea of like what you really are playing for, and then you can reverse engineer and say, is current self debating these things? Am I making decisions a certain way? Am I like holding back in certain areas? Am I not moving certain aspects forward? That would be an alignment with that, that I already know feels right. It feels right and clean in my system. It feels good. This is the life that I want to work towards. I also want to talk about why the fear isn't confusion. It's the weight of knowing what's next and maybe not feeling ready for it. Listen, none of us really are ever ready, ready for it. Even if you've been preparing for a marathon, you're never ready, ready. I mean, some would probably argue with that and say like, no, I did everything I could prepare for it. Yes, and there's still the action of doing it that, you know, maybe the terrain of the marathon, something happens. Maybe all of a sudden it rains and it's supposed to be sunny. I don't know. Life can be, you know, uncertain and unexpected of things, right? But, you know, there's sometimes a weight of knowing what's next and not feeling ready, but none of us are ever really ready, ready, like to the hundredth percentile, right? I was wondering about the difference between fear that warns you and fear that confirms you, right? Because sometimes there's a fear of like, oh, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, like, that's not an area for you to go. And then there's fear that's like, oh yeah, no, you're, you're actually right for wanting to make this move, but it's scary even though you have to do it. See what I mean? There's a very, there's an interesting difference. There's, that's why we have to be very in tune. Cause again, sometimes there's a fear that's saying, no, no, no, that, don't go that direction. That's not for you. That's confirmation, right? And future self has already made it like, no, no, that's not a path that you're even needing to explore. And then there's confirmation on the other side. That's, you know, fear that confirms you. It's like almost saying like, oh no, it's cause you know, you have to go do this thing. And it's actually working in your favor. I also want to talk about why most people stay stuck, not because they don't know what to do, but because they know exactly what to do. And it terrifies them. You're not alone. Let's just rip the bandaid off on that one. You're not alone. Maybe you know exactly what you need to do, and it's terrifying. And we want to know all the details. How is this going to happen? How is this going to get fixed? How is this? What's going to happen after this? I do this, also this stuff. And it stalls often an inevitable decision, future self already made. And finally, I want to talk about what shifts when you start making decisions from the person you're becoming instead of the person you've been. Very key difference. Future self already made the decision. You're intuition, but let's just put it this way. Your intuition's already made the decision. Your intuition already knows who you're becoming is working on making that decision constantly and always moving towards that future self version of you, right? So let's jump into it. There's a decision you've been sitting on, maybe. You already know. You already know what the right move is. You've probably known for a while and maybe just haven't made it yet, right? And I want to iterate that maybe it's not even about confusion or needing more information or the timing isn't right. Maybe you're just scared. Let's have that conversation. And the fear is loud enough to maybe keeping you where you're at, because going anywhere else scares the heck out of you, right? I want you to consider something. What if the reason that specific decision scares you so much is also because the one your future self has already made. And what if that fear you feel isn't a warning to stop, right?