The Case Against Condoms & Fake Friendship - Rick Glassman - #1060

**Chris Williamson** (0:00)
I'm cosplaying with you.

**Rick Glassman** (0:01)
What do you think?

**Chris Williamson** (0:02)
How do you rank my-

**Rick Glassman** (0:03)
I would wear it.

**Chris Williamson** (0:05)
Nailed it.

**Rick Glassman** (0:06)
And I was flattered because we don't really know each other, but you said, are you going to wear a nice jumper? And I'm like, that's kind of my thing.

**Chris Williamson** (0:12)
Yeah, of course it is. You seem like a very cozy guy. If I could describe you in a single word, based on five minutes of interaction, watching some stuff on the Internet, it would be cozy.

**Rick Glassman** (0:24)
I like to wear things that I could sleep in. But I also know that sometimes if you show up some place wearing something that sometimes you wear something someplace and people feel offended based on what you're wearing. And it's like, okay, so let me just find some really cool clothes that I could trick you into thinking is, oh, look it, I could wear this to the big dance. But also I could go home and sleep in it.

**Chris Williamson** (0:45)
No, I optimize for comfort as well. Mine leans a little bit to sportswear, which there's not really much that you can do to kind of elevate sport. If you're going out for a dinner or whatever and you're in like a Lululemon fucking t-shirt or something, you're a little bit, you're struggling.

**Rick Glassman** (1:00)
When you wear sports clothes, you're not wearing something to elevate the clothes, you're wearing clothes to elevate the body and you have a body for it. I've been saying it for weeks. But you have a body that shows the veins, so.

**Chris Williamson** (1:12)
Well, this, I could get away with this. I feel like it's like a cup of cocoa, like both hands, holding it with both hands. It's very important.

**Rick Glassman** (1:20)
Another way I think of that is like, if this were a rom-com in the early 2000s, and you would be a beautiful woman, and you would be wearing that, but it would be like this, yeah. And I would think you were ugly as shit until you took your glasses off.

**Chris Williamson** (1:33)
I'd have my glasses down here.

**Rick Glassman** (1:34)
Oh, you're ugly.

**Chris Williamson** (1:35)
My hair's up in a bun, and I'd like pull them like this and go.

**Rick Glassman** (1:38)
Oh, yeah. Then you get a, can I say boner?

**Chris Williamson** (1:41)
Yeah, yeah.

**Rick Glassman** (1:41)
Yeah, then you get a boner.

**Chris Williamson** (1:44)
I heard you talk about like random erectile dysfunction and the subsequent fallout, the negotiation.

**Rick Glassman** (1:54)
Where did you hear me talk about this?

**Chris Williamson** (1:55)
You were freestyle, right? Someone who was like on your show.

**Rick Glassman** (1:58)
Yeah, with Costa Contra.

**Chris Williamson** (1:59)
Yeah. You were trying to explain to four surly black men, who I didn't think would be that forgiving of a conversation around like rapid erectile, R-E-D, rapid erectile dysfunction. But they seem to be like, yeah, man, been there.

**Rick Glassman** (2:18)
Yeah.

**Chris Williamson** (2:19)
Or whatever.

**Rick Glassman** (2:19)
Well, they didn't say they had been there. They said they hadn't and I don't believe them. But they were accepting of it. One of them grew up watching The Simpsons. I'm not joking. We talked about it.

**Chris Williamson** (2:29)
He was the one that you resonated with the most.

**Rick Glassman** (2:31)
I was like, this guy goes soft a lot.

**Chris Williamson** (2:32)
Will you be getting to a relationship with me at some point in future? That'd be good.

**Rick Glassman** (2:35)
The conversation was based around it. I don't want to get, I mean, we can, but this is how we're opening it. But based on comfort, I'm very sensitive to smells and textures and sounds. And like, it's not just a look thing. It's really like, the best I could explain it is like people that wear contacts, even if it's not hurting you, you know they're there. It's hard to be present if you're feeling things.
And when you make love or even have sex with a condom, it's like I'm having sex with contacts. So I'm just aware, I'm aware they're there. You know what I'm saying? I'm blinking a lot. And that's why I've learned, and I think this is a good practice indirectly, to never be like that physically intimate with somebody who you don't feel safe explaining to them, hey, I'm not present with you right now. You know what I mean? Maybe we can make out for a little bit, or why don't we go get tested so we don't have to wear these. And I feel that way in friendships as well as a metaphor.