The Beatles Get Screwed, Rafe Gets a Grill & George Michael Fans Revolt
The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
September 30, 2026
Nothing says “credible music journalism” quite like blindly ranking ten legendary rock bands without knowing which one is coming next.
Speakers Riz, Rafe, Scott, Lern, Moon
TopicsComedySociety & Culture
SPEAKER_1 (0:00)
The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements.
Riz (0:30)
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Rafe (1:30)
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Riz (2:07)
So, one through 10, blind rankings. I'm gonna give you the name of a popular rock band and you rank them one through 10 One being the best, 10 being the worst. So you are not getting them all up front.
Scott (2:24)
So you could blow your wad, right?
SPEAKER_5 (2:27)
Yes.
Scott (2:28)
Go too high.
Riz (2:28)
Now you all have to agree.
SPEAKER_5 (2:30)
I love these, yes.
Riz (2:30)
You all have to agree. This is a blind ranking. So I'm gonna give you the band name and you rank them.
Scott (2:34)
Oh, this is a group ranking.
Riz (2:35)
This is a group.
Scott (2:35)
Okay.
Riz (2:36)
You have to agree.
Scott (2:37)
Okay.
Riz (2:37)
So the first band, Blindly, one through 10, Metallica. Where are we putting them? Not knowing what's coming next.
SPEAKER_7 (2:43)
Oh, man.
Riz (2:43)
Where are you putting Metallica?
Lern (2:45)
One is the best, 10 is, okay.
Riz (2:47)
10 is the worst.
SPEAKER_7 (2:48)
It's not five, right?
Lern (2:49)
I would say five. Yeah, I would say five. It's a good mid band.
Moon (2:52)
I was thinking four, but if you guys want five.
SPEAKER_7 (2:53)
Four sounds, yeah. I don't know. Five, you think?
Riz (2:56)
Do you think Metallica sets the...
Lern (2:58)
Let's do five. Let's set the equilibrium. See what we're doing. So every band has to be better than Metallica or worse than Metallica.
Scott (3:05)
Actually, that is a good... That's a good reason to put them at five. We'll make them the baseline of what it is to be a top five rock band.
Riz (3:12)
That's a smart strategy. The Rolling Stones.
SPEAKER_7 (3:15)
Ooh.
Rafe (3:17)
One.
SPEAKER_7 (3:19)
No.
Rafe (3:19)
Oh, man.
SPEAKER_7 (3:20)
Two.
Scott (3:22)
Can't be lower than two.
Riz (3:23)
Rafe says two.
Rafe (3:24)
I say three. I think three is perfect.
Riz (3:26)
Lern.
Lern (3:26)
Let's go three. They're better than Metallica.
Scott (3:30)
I want one.
Moon (3:31)
Listen, we still got Beatles and Zeppelin.
Rafe (3:33)
You still got a lot of stuff to come. The Beatles go suck my... Oh, hey.
Lern (3:36)
I'm with him. I'm more of a Stones person than a Yellow Sculls.
Scott (3:38)
I would put the Stones higher than them, but I do think Zeppelin's on the way and I also...
Moon (3:43)
Yeah, Queen's best.
Scott (3:44)
It's going to be some wild cards.
Moon (3:46)
Queen's the one. Let's be safe here.
SPEAKER_1 (3:47)
Are these all classic rock? We don't know.
Lern (3:51)
Or multiple Johnnys?
Riz (3:52)
You don't know. I'm not telling you.
SPEAKER_1 (3:54)
Guns N Roses is coming.
Riz (3:55)
These are all rock bands.
Moon (3:56)
Yeah, he's already giving us Metallica and Rolling Stones. So we know where we're going. This is all broad, big, big broad, big and broad.
And Queen is coming in.
Scott (4:06)
The longevity of the Stones, the fact that, you know, they're still going, means something to me.
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