The Adventure Zone Providence: Episode 1

SPEAKER_1 (1:04)

Welcome, mortals, to Taz Providence, an adventure of divine proportions. Huh? Is that even a portion, do you think? Divine energy, divine, divine.

SPEAKER_2 (1:19)

Divine proportions sounds like we're size queens.

SPEAKER_3 (1:21)

We're god-thick in this one.

SPEAKER_4 (1:22)

Yeah, and we're coming up on the Thanksgiving holidays, so divine proportions sounds great.

SPEAKER_1 (1:27)

I love divine portions. Big pies, big meats, you know, that's what I'm all about. Big pies, thin meats. Big pies, thin meats.

SPEAKER_4 (1:37)

We have thin meats.

SPEAKER_3 (1:41)

I don't actually love the energy this one's starting off with.

SPEAKER_5 (1:44)

It's a little randy if I'm being frank, if it's possible for us.

SPEAKER_1 (1:48)

Big Franks.

SPEAKER_3 (1:49)

Thin meats, big Franks, thick gods.

SPEAKER_1 (1:54)

We're going to be using Super Normal, which is a one-page game system created by UrsaDice, U-R-S-I-D-I-C-E.

If you want to follow along, you can go to ursadice.com/supernormal for the PDF over there. Support them in any way that you can. It's a super fun game system. If you've heard our live show, Just Us, where they played as superheroes trying to blend in with the world, then you've heard us use it before.

SPEAKER_3 (2:19)

Was it the one at the company picnic?

SPEAKER_1 (2:21)

Yes, it was. Yeah.

SPEAKER_3 (2:22)

Oh, yeah, God, yeah.

SPEAKER_1 (2:23)

I didn't hear that one. I'm gonna be lost, right, Trav? Well, no, Justin, you were there. I know, it was like for the audience. No, they don't, this is not a continuation of this. This is a brand new, yeah, a brand new adventure.

SPEAKER_4 (2:36)

Iteration.

SPEAKER_1 (2:37)

Well, God, I hate calling things adventures. It's such a big check.

SPEAKER_2 (2:41)

It's in the name of the thing too, right?

SPEAKER_1 (2:43)

I know, it's so tough. You can't just have a, like, here's a confection.

SPEAKER_3 (2:48)

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_1 (2:49)

You can be like, here's a simple twistery for you. Like another bubble from McElroy's mind. You can't have it every day.

Let us begin. Our actual play TTRPG begins as all actual play TTRPGs begin with a god complex.

Specifically, the god complex building at the center of the Providence Plane, which is home to those that the people of the mortal plane would refer to as the gods. These two planes overlap each other, but exist on two separate celestial wavelengths. The two planes have a symbiotic relationship with one another. You see, while the inanimate objects of the mortal plane lack free will, they are still charged up with erratic random potential energy, which they are unable to disperse. If this weren't dealt with, all of these things would begin to pave so wildly that there is no way of telling what chaos would be unleashed. Fortunately for the mortals, the beings of the providence plane need this random potential energy to survive. Every inhabitant is synced with one or more type of object, draws on its energy and filters it back as pure potential energy. In short, for every type of thing on the mortal plane, there is a god in the providence plane connected to it. That said, not all these objects are created equally, which leads us back to the god complex, where the most charged up of the gods are gathered to discuss an issue of the utmost importance. The god of fire calls the meeting to order. A symbol of the gods of the pantheon. We have had troubling reports from the mortal realm. Someone is putting together a ritual. A chorus of harrumpts erupts from the room.

If you guys could help me out with that.

SPEAKER_3 (4:37)

Harrumpt, harrumpt, harrumpt, harrumpt, harrumpt. Oh, yes, yes. We got...

SPEAKER_2 (4:41)

Justin didn't get a harrumpt out of that guy.

SPEAKER_1 (4:43)

I harrumpt. It just wasn't very loud. Yes, we gods all hate rituals. But it's worse than that. This ritual is a dark ritual.

The gods let out a simultaneous and terrified harrumpt.

SPEAKER_6 (4:59)

Harrumpt?

SPEAKER_1 (5:01)

The god of storm stands. Fire, let me pop down there. I'll stop it in a flash. The whole thing will be a breeze. Yes, excellent weather-based puns aside. The last time you left the Providence Plain, storms were erratic within five minutes. Remember that tornado full of sharks? Yes, the Tornado Shark. Yes, of course I remember. I see that the god of both stone wheels and wooden wheels has raised his hand.

Yeah, I'd volunteer to go, but I'm too tired. The rumor...

We like this. I tell myself, I'm not going to laugh when you make that joke again, but it's just so funny every time.

But no. None of us will be going. This investigation could take multiple days. And I- So is it on the God of Tires?