Tech Titans: How to Ask for Help as a Leader with Arnie Katz, CPTO at GoFundMe

**Joel Beasley** (0:00)
Today, we've got our most timeless advice from our last conversation with Arnie Katz, CPTO at GoFundMe. You're listening to Joel Beasley, Modern CTO.

**Joel Beasley** (0:15)
What do you call me? I've donated to people that have done GoFundMe, like I've contributed, but I've never ran one or managed one or have done anything like that.

**Arnie Katz** (0:24)
Yeah, I mean, I definitely would regard you as a customer, but I think the real word for it is you're a supporter of causes, right? Like whether it's individual fundraising or nonprofits fundraising, you supported sounds like multiple of these causes and you're a supporter. If you also shared with your network, hey, I just donated to this cause, this person.
If you also shared that cause, we would also call you a champion, because now you're championing that cause. And we found many times that folks who share have as much, if not bigger, impact than just by the act of donation alone.

**Joel Beasley** (1:04)
Oh, well, I feel bad now. I'm not a champion. I don't...
I keep my stuff private. I'm like, I support that privately. Yeah.

**Arnie Katz** (1:14)
Someone does something to strive for. And yeah, you know, you're touching...

**Joel Beasley** (1:18)
You're touching like my life coach, Arnie.

**Arnie Katz** (1:23)
You're touching on such a... You're touching on psychology, right? And one of the things that excited... excited me the most intellectually over the past two years, and even actually through the interview process, to be honest, was the psychology around asking for help, right? And by the way, there is not enough research around that. There is more research around giving help, not as much research around asking for help. But imagine how hard it is. Like, you're going through something hard in your life. Maybe your kid is in the hospital. You don't know how you're going to pay the bills. Your kid is in a rough state. You're not a marketer, obviously.
You're not a fundraiser. You're not a person that their profession is to fundraise, but you know that you have to have money. So one is, you know that you needed to ask for help, but it's so hard. We've seen people struggling with it over a decade. I met a lady that took her over a decade to ask for help in many, many different calls from people. Hey, you should start to go fund me. You should start to go fund me over a decade before she did. And then what she did, by the way, she raised over $80,000.
So that's psychology. Then there's a psychology about helping. Like what would spur you, Joel, to support a cause and help?
And to your point, now that you helped, what would spur you to become a champion, to share? So a lot of the research we're doing, a lot of the data collection, a lot of the data analysis is around exactly that. How do we help people go through the barriers around asking for help and then giving help, and then again championing for more help to be given?

**Joel Beasley** (3:02)
That's interesting too.
I should explore that in my own reflection time. So asking for help, that's actually something a lot of people struggle with. Whether it's something as big as a complex medical issue, or something that GoFundMe is happening, or something as small as asking your boss for help on how to progress in your career. Do you have any good tips on how to ask for help?

**Arnie Katz** (3:29)
Wow.

**Joel Beasley** (3:31)
Putting you right on the spot.

**Arnie Katz** (3:32)
Yeah, I mean, this is a great question. And yes, so I think the biggest tip, to be honest, is people want to help you.
Like, I know it's hard to think that way when you're at a point where you really need help, and you're trying not to bother everyone, and will there be anyone out there that will actually be willing to help? And the answer is yes. Like, when you helped someone, Joel, when you wrote that check, swiped your credit card, whatever you did, right? You felt better because you did it, right? And it just touches a very important, again, psychology of us as human being. We are social creatures. We want to help each other. We want to feel part of a community, and part of the ways to feel part of a community is to help people in trouble within that community.
So when you are considering, do I ask for help, right? I think the first thing to remember is people want to help you. And that could be when you need money. And to your point, it could also be when you want to go to promotion, your boss, most likely, I can guarantee it in some cases, but most likely would want to help you progress to the next level. And if you frame the question the right way, obviously, if you frame it in a very adversarial way, like promote me now or else, then that psychology of wanting to help maybe would go away. But if you do it more of, hopefully, I've been here for a couple of years, I've been supporting the organization, I had this impact, X, Y, and Z impact, and I'm really trying to understand how to have even more impact on the organization. Like, what do you think I need to do in order to get to the next level in terms of being able to provide more impact, maybe move up the ladder a bit? If you frame it that way, people, again, inherently want to help you. So, I think the biggest thing, most important thing I would say is understand that people want to help you and don't be worried about asking for help. Then, like we said, the framing is important. What text, what means, in what timing, you know, these things matter as well.