Suzi D. AFG Female

Suzi Donahue (0:00)

Just a little bit, so I'm excited to hear more of her experience. And with that, I'll give you Suzi.

Hi, you guys, I'm Suzi Donahue. I'm kind of short, so I'm going to... I actually had a dream last night that the podium was going to be taller than me. It's happened. I am an alcoholic, and I am so glad to be with some other alcoholics. Yay for alcoholics!

We need some enthusiasm. And I don't know the fancy... I don't do the whole, hi, my name... Sorry, I am an alcoholic. Okay, God's Grace, Program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and sponsorship for my very first night in AA. I've been sober since September 29th, 1987

And Peggy and I, class of 87 It's a lot of good people in that class, by the way. Hey, I'm just really glad to be here, I want to tell you a little bit about Audra. The girl can't drive. I'm telling you, don't drive.

I found out today, today, right, at dinner, after she's driven me all around from the airport, and I kept wondering why she couldn't get us back to the hotel. She, her glasses broke. They weren't working and she's blind, so no wonder. But that's this conference. They let her take me back from the airport. So, yeah, I love Audra. We got really to just be really close in a very short period of time. We went to Chick-fil-A and laughed, and we just had a great time, and it's been wonderful to be here. I want to thank the committee, and I want to thank my good friend Heidi. A shout out to just a sweet, wonderful person, just God-centered and loving. Thanks for letting me get a chance to be here. I'm probably like second or third choice, but what the heck? I said yes, and in Alcoholics Anonymous, that's what we were taught to do, is just simply say yes. And I've said yes to a lot of things, and had second thoughts about it, but that's kind of what happens. But our book, now to get a little serious, on page 29 in our book, I just like the way it talks about how our stories disclose how we either rediscovered or how we found God. That's really what the whole story is about. By the way, I stopped drinking because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to find God because I'm in the way. And until I got to the end of me, that was the beginning of me finding God. So I'm real grateful for that little bit of understanding. So tonight, I'm going to tell you like we talk about in a general way. And hopefully, you're going to hear my story, the mess I made. And then you're going to hear the moments where God was knocking and knocking and knocking and banging and pleading and watching me with great love as I continued to do what we do until I got to the end of me. And then finally, you're going to hear about how I've been trying to live by spiritual principles over the last 38 years. So that's what I'm going to do tonight. We'll see how we do. Okay, time and go. All right. So I was raised in the Seattle area. My father was a doctor and a dentist. I know it's a weird combo, but he was. I don't think he could make up his mind. And then they ran out of money, I guess my family said. So he just ended up stopped at that point. My mom was a psychologist. So the pet problem of the day was because I didn't have a boyfriend. My mom always told me. So I was pretty miserable. And early in my, like Peggy talked about, a little bit irritable and kind of disgruntled as a young child as well. I don't know what was wrong with me. I paid a lot of attention to what other people thought of me early on. I just do remember that. I always felt like a second class citizen, kind of like I was second string cello or whatever. I never got the top grade. I got like maybe a 92 but never a 98 So I was always gauging other people against me. A lot of comparison shopping, if you know what I mean. That's kind of how I've been my whole life. So as a young kid, I was raised in a good family. My parents went to church. We were also Catholics. Who's part of the CIA? Catholic, Irish, alcoholic. Yeah.

It's my favorite. And of course, none of us can cook. Who goes out for Irish? We don't, you know? So it's good. It's good to know who you are. But that's not why I got here or how I got here. You know, my family, they drank hard. I'll leave it at that. They worked hard, they partied hard. And I'm not going to tell them that they were all alcoholic till they all died. But the ones that have died, yes, they were alcoholic. So I was raised in an alcoholic home. That's not why I'm here. I wanted it to be when I first came to AA, I wanted it to be my mother's fault. And that only lasts for a while. The weller you get, the less you complain about your childhood here. That's kind of what happens. And you know, my family, they loved me. I had two older brothers and a younger brother. I went to a good school. I lived in a beautiful home. You know, I never wanted for anything really. I mean, we had like a new coat for each season, you know, winter coat, spring coat, you know. I mean, there was always plenty, but you know, there was a lot of drinking and a lot of craziness inside that house. And it looked great from the outside, but inside it was wild. And by the time I was like seven or eight years old, I was already praying, asking God, because you know, God and I were tight. I wanted to be a saint or an angel. I really did. I mean, as a little girl, I prayed that someday, maybe I could be one or the other, you know, or at least close to one. You know, I really wanted to do, and I started praying and asking God to help my family, because my mom and my dad would scream and yell and kick and fight and, you know, lose it in the kitchen at four o'clock in the morning. We'd all be in bed crying and shaking, you know. And you know, early on like that, I just thought they were having a, you know, a rough night. But it got to be a lot of drinking going on and a lot of problems. A lot of people, and you know, it just got louder and more scary, and God wasn't doing anything. And then, you know, as a young girl, I always was the girl that would run and get the beer for my dad, pop it, guzzle a little bit. Come on, you all did this, right? And then hand it to him with a big smile, right? So that was how much drinking experience I had until I was about 12 My grandma once in a while would let us have a little, a little bit of wine maybe on Christmas, but I really never drank as a kid at all. I just watched my family drink crazy, and get fights on every Thanksgiving. Somebody was in a fist fight, you know, that kind of drinking. So meanwhile, I'm like 12 years old, and my oldest brother has two of the best looking boys I've ever seen in my life come to our house, and they invite me to the schoolyard. Suddenly, I've arrived, okay? So I get up there and I'm very excited because they have something called a Mickey White Mouth Beer. It's a four pack, kind of like malt liquor, I guess would be what you'd call it. I didn't know what it was, but I sure knew how to drink quickly. Because there was a four pack, him and I were together. I got three of those four, so I just, I've always been quick, you know? And I just grabbed one. I remember grabbing one right away, popping off the top and guzzling. I don't know where I learned to guzzle on TV. I don't know. I mean, I never guzzled a Pepsi, but you know, but I just guzzled it. And I remember the second one popping the lid. He's still just like kind of not really liking the first. And I thought, you know, this is going to be a good boyfriend later. I need to know his number, you know, can take care of me when I'm bad off. But, you know, so I'm popping the third one. And the last thing I remember is like, whoo, I am up, whoo, I am lifted up. This is good. Let's go to a bad neighborhood, you know? And that's what I thought. And what I what I love about being an alcoholic is, you know, we have those moments where alcohol does something for us. That it doesn't do for normal people. You know, I'll talk about my adult son now, he's 32 years old, and I went over to his house at Christmas, and he made some spaghetti, and he was, he says, Mom, can I have a wine? It's been 38 years. Yes, you can have a glass of wine in front of me, you know? So meanwhile, he gets a glass of wine, and he leaves it on the kitchen counter, and we go watch Netflix and binge on something for like three hours. He comes back and he throws it in the sink. The leftover wine. Why?