Superman's Arrest, Pet Raccoons & Bush Cops

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**SPEAKER_4** (1:04)
You're listening to The Rizzuto Show. Happy Birthday Rizz, you big fat douche.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:41)
Oh, yeah, we're going to do some news.

**Rizz** (1:45)
Hey, and for news, I actually have a little bit of audio I need to start with.
Ladies and gentlemen, Superman, yes, Superman was arrested in Florida. He's been arrested.
For what? It's curtains for you, Superman. Deputies in Hillsborough County arrested a guy named James Tidwell, who was wearing a full on Superman costume when they caught him. According to investigators, he allegedly broke into a boat cabin and stole several power tools. In the police body cam video, it pretty much tells the story. He screamed, yeah, I took the stuff. He literally said, yeah, I took the stuff. Not exactly the origin story DC had in mind. He was booked on felony burglary.
What do you call this?
Pettit? It says Pettit's Theft. Pettit's Theft. He posted a $5500 bond. So instead of truth, justice and the American way, this Superman apparently stands for power tools and poor decisions. But at least he stayed in character. Full on. Boots and all. Boots and all. Oh boy. Hang on to your seats, Rizz Show. Crazy people. Because only in America can lawmakers look around at everything going on and say, you know what this state really needs? Easier access to raccoons. Yes.

**SPEAKER_5** (3:10)
Amen.

**Rizz** (3:11)
I said raccoons. And I'm looking at you two.

**SPEAKER_7** (3:14)
What?

**Rizz** (3:15)
You guys are on your way to being raccoon owners.

**SPEAKER_5** (3:17)
I hope.

**SPEAKER_7** (3:17)
Jimothy's taking over. Look at the whole world, man.

**Rizz** (3:20)
I get it. A fan from a distance. But you guys said that you would have them as pets.

**SPEAKER_6** (3:24)
Yeah.

**Rizz** (3:24)
Heck yeah.

**SPEAKER_6** (3:25)
I constantly watch reels that are just people finding baby raccoons by their pool and I'm just like, when am I going to find one in the wild? When is the Raccoon Distribution Center going to come to my house? That's right.

**Rizz** (3:40)
Well, you can go to them because a new Tennessee law makes it easier to legally own a pet raccoon by waiving the state's $31 ownership permit fee. As long as the raccoon comes from a legal breeder. So yeah, there are legal breeders of these things. Has been vaccinated and was not caught in the wild. So you can't catch them in the wild and make them pets. And you have to have a valid wildlife permit. So no, you can't just grab a trash panda that's been stealing garbage every Tuesday night, give it a name, call it a pet.
Honestly though, if you've ever met a raccoon, you know that they're basically tiny burglars wearing little Zorro masks. They have human hands, zero respect for personal property and they will 100% open your fridge at 3 a.m. Tennessee didn't make them any less crazy. They just made them cheaper to legally own. So there you go. I like this.

**SPEAKER_6** (4:27)
We were talking about the hybrid of the raccoon dog and that already exists. No, you've seen the raccoon dog.

**Rizz** (4:35)
Bro, that's the most AI sounding thing I've ever heard.

**SPEAKER_6** (4:38)
No, it's in China. Pull up Asian raccoon dog dude on Bing. See what happens. Careful.

**SPEAKER_7** (4:43)
Yeah.

**Rizz** (4:44)
Yeah.

**SPEAKER_7** (4:44)
Careful you.

**Rizz** (4:46)
He dodged a bullet today already. Tiny Asian.

**SPEAKER_6** (4:50)
They don't have the hands we want.

**Rizz** (4:53)
That's not a is that a real is that a real hybrid or is that its own animal?

**SPEAKER_7** (4:58)
Yeah, it looks like its own animal.

**SPEAKER_6** (4:59)
No, there's a raccoon dog.