Suffer Smarter: Sean Waxman on Harnessing Pain for Growth

Michael Gervais (0:00)

What if suffering wasn't just something to endure, but a tool to unlock your full potential? Welcome back, or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast, where we dive into the minds of the world's greatest thinkers and doers. I am your host, Dr. Michael Gervais, by trade and training, a high-performance psychologist. Today's guest is Sean Waxman. First and foremost, he is a close friend for nearly 30 years. He's a renowned strength and conditioning coach, former Olympic weightlifter and author of the transformative book, Suffer Smarter. Sean's journey, it is one of resilience and transformation. It's one of purpose and I do not use those words lightly. He turned the heartbreak of missing the Olympics into a mission to help others discover their own inner strength, both physically and mentally. Sean's insights are well-earned. They're practical. They're raw. They're deeply inspiring. And I hope this conversation is a powerful reminder of the lessons that are waiting in life's hardest moments. So with that, let's jump right into this incredible conversation with Sean Waxman.

Sean, this is a real treat.

Sean Waxman (1:22)

It's something, man.

Michael Gervais (1:24)

So we went to grad school together.

Sean Waxman (1:26)

We did.

Michael Gervais (1:26)

I had the chance to know each other and watch each other's careers. And really, you helped me form much of my language, definitely in the early stages, about, and there was a handful, is you, Ken Vic, Rico Ciparelli. I wanna bring those names up because it was like, it was a bit of a rat pack of, you know, Rico Ciparelli was a UFC head coach.

Sean Waxman (1:47)

He was a multiple match champion in Iowa, a wrestling World Cup champion. He was one of the early adopters of the UFC coaching. The Raw Gym, which we were both involved with, was one of the first MMA gyms in the country. He started Randy Couture, he started Dan Henderson, some of like the OG early MMA guys.

Michael Gervais (2:08)

It was electric.

Sean Waxman (2:09)

It was unbelievable. And we got a chance to be passengers in that world and it was fantastic.

Michael Gervais (2:17)

Most people in my community don't know the origin story of my craft. This will be fun in a lot of ways just to like, in some parts reminisce, in some parts like, I want to for sure highlight the adventure that you've been on to go inward, to go deep, to be honest. And that's like your journey, which you're ringing the bell for all of us to do the same. And also like, so you've got a book, Suffer Smarter, like what suffering is, why it's so powerful. And this third mechanism I want to make sure we hit on is, you know how to bring the best out of people. You're a coach, not a life coach. You are a strength and conditioning coach. Do I have that right?

Sean Waxman (3:00)

Strength and conditioning and weightlifting, right? So weightlifting is really the surgical part of what I do. The Olympic sport and precise output. So that's the strength and conditioning is a passion.

Michael Gervais (3:15)

Your base is Olympic lifting, coaching Olympic.

Sean Waxman (3:17)

That's my DNA.

Michael Gervais (3:18)

Yeah. And you started as an athlete, you became a coach in that. And then you use that as your base to help others through strength and conditioning be better at something else as well.

Sean Waxman (3:28)

Yeah. Now the journey, how do I use those lessons to help you and me? We're far from athletes now.

Michael Gervais (3:34)

Yeah, that's right. So that I think that that's what the listener wants more than anything is like, okay, how does this well traveled high flyer in the world of coaching help me, the listener be just a little bit better as a mom, as a dad, as a engineer, as a manager, as a director, CEO, whatever it might be.

How does this apply to me? And the lessons that we learn on the mat, the lessons that we learn on the platform, the lessons we learn on the pitch or the field, on how to help people, whether it's from my lenses psychologically or your lenses technically as a strength and conditioning coach, last Olympic weightlifting coach. Those lessons apply to all of us. So that will be part of the through line, I think, for today. But I want to start with this, failure. You had all the makings to be on the world stage and potentially win at the highest level.

Sean Waxman (4:25)

Yes.

Michael Gervais (4:26)

It didn't happen.

Sean Waxman (4:26)

No.

Michael Gervais (4:28)

And again, you and I go way back. So this is not insensitive. This is like, there's three, four, five of us that really kind of came up, if you will, together. And you were the one that was still half in science, half in like going for it. You're fully going for it as an athlete. And then you knew that the real love was coaching. So let's just talk about failure. I had Amy Edmondson on the other day, Psychological Safety. She's got a new book on failure. She's dedicated so much of her life about it. She's got three types of failure that she highlighted. Intelligent failure, complex failure and basic failure. I don't want to open those up now, but you can see what she's pointing to. Intelligent failure makes sense. Basic and complex are kind of like, damn, what just happened? What is your take on failure in life, failure in sport, failure in a lift? Like, how do you think about failure? Because I know how much you wanted it. And I'm not calling you a failure. I'm just saying you didn't get the thing that you wanted.