SUBSCRIBER EXCLUSIVE: B-Sides: Hunt for Love S2E1

Kim Cray (0:00)

Hey everybody, welcome to B-Sides, I'm Kim.

Kyle Cray (0:03)

And I'm Kyle, otherwise known as Primary Sexual Unit. I'm here to defend men today. I'm not doing this podcast until you knew your dog. If you can take care of the land, you can take care of a whole man. I have software. You've been treating me like a goddamn bitch lately. I paint about sadness and misery.

We have a consumerist, capitalistic culture. Why didn't God create everyone with boobs?

SPEAKER_3 (0:31)

You hired the audacity. Shave my ass.

Kyle Cray (0:34)

Doctor, I want to be a virgin again. Kim, did you use the butt plugs I bought you? Now I understand Gandhi and the Buddha. I masturbate constantly over video chat. I'm the king of killing feelings. Kim, are you ready to unload your blue balls? I spend 60% of my time on the toilet. Do you want to replace my dick too?

SPEAKER_3 (0:55)

It's a terrible week to have a TV.

Kyle Cray (0:57)

I don't know, slut. I mean, I mean bitch, sorry.

Kim Cray (1:01)

Hey, everybody. Welcome to B-Sides. I'm Kim.

Kyle Cray (1:04)

You're bitchy. I don't like in Hormone.

I'm Kyle and I just feel is just your face, bitch.

Kim Cray (1:19)

Kyle, are you yawning?

SPEAKER_3 (1:21)

Yawning?

Kyle Cray (1:22)

No. I'm a god.

SPEAKER_3 (1:24)

I'm a guy.

SPEAKER_4 (1:26)

You have one of those weird suitcases.

Kim Cray (1:30)

Using two in one soap? No. No.

SPEAKER_4 (1:33)

That's fair.

Kim Cray (1:34)

I look, I'm really into Chloe. Every single thing on her Ick List, I was like, yeah.

Kyle Cray (1:43)

Even yawning?

Kim Cray (1:45)

I mean yawning when you're on a date.

Kyle Cray (1:46)

What are you supposed to do about yawning? Oh, okay.

Kim Cray (1:49)

Yawning? That was the only absurd thing. But like, what were the rest of the things on the list?

Hold on.

Kyle Cray (1:57)

Oh no. They were perfectly fine.

Two in one soap means you're 19 and just using like Axe fucking body wash to shower with and that's horrible.

SPEAKER_4 (2:10)

What else was there?

Kyle Cray (2:11)

They all felt mostly reasonable to me. If I'm putting my judgmental asshole hat on at least.

Kim Cray (2:20)

Posting selfies, ordering cute coffee. If I ever went to like a coffee shop with you and you ordered like a Caramel Macachino, I would be concerned. Yawning, that's questionable. Weird suitcases.

Well, I don't know what that means.

Kyle Cray (2:37)

Suitcases, but.

SPEAKER_3 (2:39)

That's probably a good thing.

Kyle Cray (2:40)

I find it, I find it a huge, it's like wearing Lou Booten's. The only way that you can keep a suitcase that from looking like anything except complete fucking. Oh, you're yawning.

SPEAKER_3 (2:52)

You're fucking yawning.

SPEAKER_4 (2:54)

I'm sorry I did yawn.

Kim Cray (2:56)

Oh, what's wrong with me?

Kyle Cray (2:57)

Sorry, I'm so boring to you.

SPEAKER_4 (2:59)

This date is over.

Kim Cray (3:03)

Flip flops. Agree.

Kyle Cray (3:05)

If you, okay, hold on. We'll come back to that.

If you have a suitcase that looks good, you're flexing that you have to be flying private or something. It's impossible.

Kim Cray (3:19)

I guess. I just have a normal roller bag.

Kyle Cray (3:22)

Yeah. Buy the shittiest case that's not going to fall apart in two seconds.

Kim Cray (3:27)

Okay. Okay. Wouldn't go that far. I have an away bag that I've had for 10 years. And it, you know, buy once, keep forever. It's green, like a dark forest green. Low-key horror.

Nasty debit card. Agree. Why is your debit, you flip-flops?

Kyle Cray (3:46)

I grew up in Los, I grew up, Kim, do you even know me? I grew up in Los Angeles. I don't wear shoes.

Kim Cray (3:57)

I just think exposing your toe, like when people wear flip-flops on a plane, like your feet are out there.

Kyle Cray (4:05)

I wouldn't do that.

Kim Cray (4:06)

Your feet are out there, man.

Kyle Cray (4:07)

That is the one scenario where I am thinking about what could happen.

Kim Cray (4:13)

Yeah.

Kyle Cray (4:13)

And also people are disgusting, and I don't want my foot to touch the floor of an aircraft. That's revolting. I actually, I am 90, look, I live in fucking Arizona. I am wearing shorts and flip-flops nine out of 10 days of the year.

Kim Cray (4:29)

That's kind of why you live there, right?

Kyle Cray (4:32)

Yeah. However, I will never wear shorts on an airplane, no matter how hot it is. It's just a thing. I can't, I don't want the skin of my leg to touch someone's fart chair.