Straightio Rewind: "Maps" w/ Emmy Blotnick (Feb. 21, 2023)

Sam Taggart (0:16)

Who-dee-hoo, Glamour Girls, you're listening to StraightioLab Rewind.

George Civeris (0:19)

Once a month, we will be re-releasing an old classic StraightioLab episode to re-familiarize new listeners with the lore that built the podcast, The Government Cannot Shut Down.

Sam Taggart (0:32)

Because we recorded some of these long, long ago, the audio quality may be mixed, but trust, the ideas are eternal and dangerous.

George Civeris (0:41)

So take out your notebook and open to page one, because it's time to start taking notes about the things we've said.

Sam Taggart (0:51)

Okay, enjoy the past, bye.

Okay, podcast starts now. What's up, everyone? You are listening to us live on Super Bowl Sunday is the day that we are recording. We were so moved by the spirit of the holiday that we said, emergency recording now.

George Civeris (1:11)

We are, as Sam said, coming at you live. There is not even a seven second delay or whatever they have over at CBS, NBC incorporated. So anything, I could say the F slur right now, and it wouldn't even get bleeped. And yeah, it's not the one you're thinking of.

Sam Taggart (1:26)

There's many F slurs now a days.

George Civeris (1:28)

And I'm going to do the worst one of all.

Sam Taggart (1:32)

Okay. So first of all, it is the Super Bowl day.

George Civeris (1:36)

I know.

Sam Taggart (1:37)

And we just talk about that we're skipping it. And I think we can't talk about that.

George Civeris (1:40)

We are skipping it. Unfortunately, we can't talk about any of the specifics of the Super Bowl because surely things will happen that will become memes that will then become like saturated and then be lame to talk about. So it's best to just not even venture into that territory. I'm not even going to utter the word Rihanna.

Sam Taggart (1:59)

Here's what I do want to know.

George Civeris (2:00)

Because you don't know what she could do.

Sam Taggart (2:02)

We have no idea.

George Civeris (2:03)

We have no idea. And so we'll sort of, we'll add a beep, like a blank space here where we can go and edit in things about her performance. I loved when she performed. We found love.

Sam Taggart (2:15)

Yeah, I loved the stunt of jumping off stadium.

George Civeris (2:19)

Jumping off stadium.

Sam Taggart (2:22)

I loved outfit.

George Civeris (2:23)

I loved when she brought out Nsync.

Sam Taggart (2:27)

And Jojo Siwa.

George Civeris (2:29)

And Jojo, the singer of Get Out, Leave Right Now.

Sam Taggart (2:33)

Classic.

George Civeris (2:34)

Wouldn't it be the biggest gag of the century if she brought out Jojo Siwa and Jojo Millennial so that they could do a duet together of Islands in the Stream?

Sam Taggart (2:43)

Giving Jojo, the older Jojo, the last name Millennial is really, Jojo Siwa and Jojo Millennial.

Emmy Blotnick (2:55)

They really form a super group.

Sam Taggart (2:57)

That's one of the most insane labeling I've ever heard. But I am obsessed with it, unfortunately.

George Civeris (3:04)

So Sam, what's going on over there?

Sam Taggart (3:06)

Well, what I want to talk about actually, which not specific to the Super Bowl, but I do want to talk about how I am brainwashed to the fact that I do wake up on Super Bowl Sunday and I'm like, oh my God, it's the Super Bowl. And like, I don't know who's playing. I've not watched a single football game in my entire life.

And I'm still like, oh my, but I have to, what am I doing for the day? Like, and I almost like walk with a pep in my step, like as if it's Christmas Eve. Like I'm like, oh my God, it's the big day.

George Civeris (3:33)

Well, this is sort of, these are the reverberations of, you know, not to be so literal and bring it back to the topic of our podcast, but it's like, this is straight culture is like, you can choose to opt out of it. If you, you can choose to opt out of it. You can choose to wake up every day. And as a cis man, put on hot pink lingerie and walk around town being gay, gay, gay all day long. And yet, you know it's Super Bowl Sunday, and you will never be able to escape that.

Sam Taggart (4:01)

You can't escape it.

George Civeris (4:02)

And under your hot pink lingerie, you have little football pasties on your little nips, because you cannot possibly escape the fact that it's Super Bowl Sunday.

Sam Taggart (4:11)

Like, I'm even like, oh, like, maybe there's got to be a way I can get some chili today, you know? Like, what is wrong with me? I don't want to feel that way.