Stop Waiting to Feel Happy: The Mindset Shift Every Ambitious Person Needs | Jess Ekstrom - EP 796

**John R. Miles** (0:00)
Coming up next on Passion Struck.

**Jess Ekstrom** (0:02)
There was this interesting study at Vanderbilt that looked at dopamine. Dopamine is honestly the feeling that we're all chasing. It's the feel-good hormone, that happiness chemical that we get when we call a friend or eat a good piece of cake or something. And we're looking for that feeling. And this study at Vanderbilt thought that we got that dopamine hit at the result, when we get the raise, when we hit a certain number promotion.
But this study showed that we're wrong. We actually, it studied our brains and we get that hit of dopamine in anticipation of the results, not the result itself.

**John R. Miles** (0:40)
Welcome to Passion Struck. I'm your host, John Miles. This is the show where we explore the art of human flourishing and what it truly means to live like it matters.
Each week, I sit down with change-makers, creators, scientists and everyday heroes to decode the human experience and uncover the tools that help us lead with meaning, heal what hurts, and pursue the fullest expression of who we're capable of becoming. Whether you're designing your future, developing as a leader, or seeking deeper alignment in your life, this show is your invitation to grow with purpose and act with intention. Because the secret to a life of deep purpose, connection and impact is choosing to live like you matter.
Hey, it's your friend, John, and welcome back to episode 796 of the Passion Struck podcast. I want to ask you a question. Have you ever achieved something you worked incredibly hard for, only to discover that the feeling didn't last nearly as long as you thought it would? Maybe it was a promotion, launching a business, publishing a book, reaching a financial goal. For a moment, it felt incredible. And then your attention quietly shifted to the next mountain.
If you've ever wondered why that happens, today's conversation is for you. Because I think many of us have been taught to believe that purpose is something we discover somewhere out there in the future. What if purpose isn't waiting to be found? What if it's something we create? That's the question we're exploring this week as we continue our series on flourishing, how humans become fully alive. Over the past three weeks, we've explored why flourishing begins with presence. Why lasting change requires us to rewire familiar patterns of thinking and how the environments around us quietly shape who we're becoming. Today, we reach another turning point. Because flourishing doesn't stop with personal growth, it naturally expands into contribution.
Contribution begins when we stop asking, how can I become more successful? And start asking, how can I create something that genuinely improves another person's life? Today's guest, Jess Ekstrom, has spent her career wrestling with exactly that question. Jess is a best-selling author, entrepreneur, founder of Headbands of Hope and Mic Drop Workshop, and one of today's most thoughtful voices on ambition and purpose. In this conversation, she challenges the idea that purpose is a destination and offers a far more liberating perspective, one that has stayed with me ever since we recorded this interview. You'll learn why the arrival mindset keeps so many high achievers from enjoying the lives they're building, how contribution reshapes a relationship with success, and why purpose is often created through small, consistent acts of service rather than one defining moment. I think this conversation will change the way you think about ambition. More importantly, I think it will change the way you think about your own life. So let's dive in. Here's my conversation with Jess Ekstrom. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life that matters. Now, let that journey begin.
I am absolutely thrilled today to welcome Jess Ekstrom on Passion Struck. Jess, how are you today?

**Jess Ekstrom** (4:10)
I'm good, John. Thanks for having me.

**John R. Miles** (4:13)
And I am so excited to have you. You are such a phenomenal keynote speaker.
Your Ted Talk is incredible. And I am so excited to talk about your new book, Making It Without Losing It. What an amazing title.

**Jess Ekstrom** (4:28)
We are all losing it in some way, shape or form. So maybe that means we can all make it too.

**John R. Miles** (4:36)
Jess, I know we all have defining moments and they come in many shapes and forms. Some of them are highlights, some of them are lowlights. I understand you had a defining moment years ago that involved a Tierra. I was hoping you might educate us on that story.

**Jess Ekstrom** (4:53)
Oh man, John, this one cuts deep. I was doing an internship for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and I was doing a lot of behind-the-scenes work. Interns are notorious for doing the busy things. I was doing exactly that. I was organizing supply closets, filling coffee for people, cold calling people for donations and getting hung up on. But it was truly the first time in my life where I realized it wasn't about what I was doing because I was so clearly connected to why I was doing it.