Stop Competing With Everyone Else. Here's How to Win

Ethan Beute (0:00)

Welcome to The Brian Buffini Show, where we dive into the mindset, motivation, and methodologies of success. It's like having a coach on your commute. Here's your host, founder of America's largest business coaching company, Brian Buffini.

Brian Buffini (0:22)

Well, in today's Blueprint, I'm gonna talk about how to compete to win, one of my favorite topics. I have three points for you, and then Ethan and I will go roll up our sleeves and get grittier with it. But first, I want to talk about that the fundamentals come first, then you become competitive. Then we're gonna talk about how to compete and ultimately compete with yourself. And then lastly, what competition means, which is bringing the best out of yourself. So fundamentals come first, compete with yourself, and then competing means you bring the best out of yourself. So let's talk about it. The sequence of competition starts with dependability. That's right, the big non-sexy.

What can I count on? I remember interviewing Lou Hulse years ago, and he said to the quarterback who was at Notre Dame, he says, if you're gonna throw interceptions, I want you to throw interceptions on every down. That way I know what I can count on. And he was right. What can you count on? I've had two experiences, one in real estate, one non-real estate experience here recently. One is I have a gal who's helping us with a property on the big island. Her name is Genevieve. And every time she texts my bride or she talks to her, Beverly would just turn to me and say, boy, she's on it. Now we have not sold that property with her yet, but we have total confidence in her, total ability and desire to refer her. Why? Because she's so dependable, and she's so dependable on the little things.

On the other side, we have a different service on the different side of the country, where the individual has done the job we've asked them to do. However, they've spent much of their time on the unexpected extras. They know my background, my profile, so they're trying to do the special stuff. But I keep having to chase them down for the basics. Hey, this wasn't delivered. Hey, this was delivered broken. You know, I'm having to chase you down to find out what's up, as opposed to you reaching out and keeping me informed on some kind of regular basis. So trying to do the unexpected extras without doing the dependable stuff first, actually just annoys a customer. So dependable first, then on top of dependability, the exceptional stuff. That's when you do the unexpected extras. So if you're dependable, then exceptional, now you're already competing. And that's your goal. And it might not be sexy, and you don't get awards for dependable. But let me tell you this, it's what people notice. You go to a restaurant, they have really good food, but the service is inconsistent. People stop going there. I've had that, you've had that. So you have to, what can I depend on first? The dependability comes first, then the exceptional, then competition. Hans von Bülow, a famous German pianist, he said, if I don't practice one day, I know it. Two days, the critics know it. Three days, the public knows it. This is one of the greatest pianists that ever lived.

Basics, basics, fundamentals, fundamentals, execution. That's when you become dependable. My grandfather used to say that you got to observe the postage stamp, Brian. Its usefulness depends on its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there. That was what caused us to have to paint and paint and repaint again, you thinners, as we say. So, let's talk about the second point which is competing with yourself.

The goal is to compete with yourself, not everybody else. You're competing with the gifts you have. You might be, as in the parable of the talents, a five-talent person. So you outperforming a one-talent person is not a big deal.

I had a conversation with a young man here recently, and super talented, and he's down, he's anxious, he's kind of depressed. And why? Because everything's kind of come easy to him. And now he's encountered some setbacks and he's been derailed. And I said to him, your biggest issue is how talented you are. Your biggest issue is how easy it's been. And your biggest issue is now you're comparing yourself to someone else's circumstance.

And so in this particular arena, he's in one of my sons is in that arena. And I would say my son is not as talented as him, but he outworks him. And I said, have you noticed his work ethic? He goes, yeah, he kills me with that. I go, you're more talented. You envy his results. And that's what happens when you compete with other people. You get caught up in envy. You get caught up in comparison. You know, I don't know what their backstory is. I don't know what their life is like. I don't want the front of my life to be compared with the back of theirs. You've got to compete with yourself. It's the toughest competition ever. And so that's where you want to be. That's the game you want to be in. Okay? Michael Jervis said it this way. When we give more value to other people's opinions than our own, we live life on their terms, not ours. I want to live life on my terms, don't you?