Sticky Hands, Slash Wigs & College Ramen

Rizz (0:30)

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SPEAKER_2 (1:30)

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Lern (2:06)

Dude.

Rizz (2:08)

I just put my hand in something greasy, and I have nothing greasy.

Lern (2:11)

Oh, no. You want me to go get a wet wipe for you?

Rizz (2:13)

No, whatever it is, I wiped it off with my hands.

Moon (2:16)

All of our surprise, you laughed about it, instead of lost your mind.

King Scott (2:20)

That was a nervous laughter.

Lern (2:21)

That would be you, man. If your hands were sticky, you couldn't do this show.

Moon (2:24)

Is it sticky or just wet? It's just like greasy.

King Scott (2:25)

Greasy, gross. What is that? I have no idea.

Lern (2:28)

Like WD-40?

Rafe Williams (2:30)

You want to lens wipe? To wipe your little fingies off?

Rizz (2:34)

No, it's fine. And this is how you build immunity.

Lern (2:37)

You're gonna get it everywhere.

Rizz (2:39)

I think it's gone.

Lern (2:40)

Wipe it on your pants like a real man.

Rizz (2:43)

Okay. Okay. Did it.

Lern (2:45)

That's the one thing about sharing a studio. Every time I go into the KC studio, cause I run the board, it's like I have to wipe everything down in there because things get so damn gross.

Rizz (2:54)

Yeah.

I'm trying to convince them to build us a new studio just for us. Be sweet.

Lern (3:00)

Nobody's got time or money for that. Come on, man.

Rizz (3:05)

Well, we could fire like four people and then.

Jesus Christ. We can just fire four people and just get a whole new studio. It's fine.

King Scott (3:12)

We can get a good deal on our RV.

Rafe Williams (3:13)

That's the kind of ra-ra attitude I like around this place.

Lern (3:17)

You look so ridiculous right now.

Rizz (3:19)

It's wig week for Rafe. Looking good in your Slash wig today.

Rafe Williams (3:23)

I believe it is a Slash wig, yes.

It's hot. I can tell you that.

Lern (3:29)

So hot.

Rafe Williams (3:30)

I couldn't believe how-

Rizz (3:31)

Now hot like, man, I look hot.

Rafe Williams (3:34)

Sometimes it's both. Hot like it says it's 76 degrees in our studio and it is.

Rizz (3:40)

Well, listen, when we get our own studio, climate control.

Rafe Williams (3:43)

Climate. I want a window unit.

Rizz (3:46)

Climate control.

Lern (3:47)

I want my entire seat to be heated. I want heated seats.

Rizz (3:50)

We'll get it all, man. Oh, heated seats. Five people fired.

Lern (3:53)

Shoot.

Rizz (3:57)

Heated seats. What do you want? Come on, new studio.

King Scott (3:59)

What do you want?

Moon (4:00)

I want a little mini fridge.

King Scott (4:01)

Mini fridge.

Moon (4:03)

That's built in under my chair so it rolls where I roll.

Rafe Williams (4:06)

Done.

Lern (4:07)

And you need that too for your overnight oats.

Moon (4:08)

Yeah, I got all my stuff over here.

Rizz (4:11)

We'll have a wig closet just for you.

Rafe Williams (4:13)

Yeah, I can't wait.

Lern (4:14)

That's what his desk looks like. You look like the backstage area of the costume department of SNL in your desk right now. All of your characters are just...