Steven Shares His Secret Diary: Dealing With Liam Payne’s Death, My Big Relationship Issue, These 4 Words Saved Me!

Steven Bartlett (0:02)

It has been a long time since I've done this. Many, many years ago when I first started The Diary Of A CEO, the central idea of the show was to read my diary every week. I believe that it might be interesting to get to see inside the very personal diary of someone that was running a business with hundreds of team members at 25 years old while contending with all of life's problems, relationships, mental health challenges, mistakes, family problems and more. So late on a Sunday night once in a while, I would plug in a microphone in my old apartment and I would read through my diary entries. The Diary Of A CEO took on a life of its own. I went from reading my diary to interviewing other people about their diaries to speaking to experts about all of the problems that I found in my diary. But every single week, someone will come up to me and tell me that they found value in those early episodes and they'll ask me if I would ever share my diary again. I've thought about it for years and years. And this weekend, I finally decided to give it a go. So what you're listening to today is my diary. The notes I've taken in the last few weeks, the original Diary Of A CEO. I'm Steven Bartlett and this is The Diary Of A CEO. I hope nobody's listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself.

Here's the first thing that I've written in my diary this week. Pedals over podiums. I was driving through the streets of Los Angeles a few weeks ago with a really good friend of mine. It was late afternoon and the sun was hanging low in the sky, painting everything in shades of amber and gold. As we navigated through the ebb and flow of Los Angeles traffic, the distant hum of the city filled the car. A blend of honking horns, muffled conversations and the faint melody of a street performer playing somewhere in the distance. We were on our way to a football match on the other side of town. My friend in the passenger seat was the founder of a huge fashion business that's absolutely skyrocketed over the last couple of years. It's one of those brands that's become so popular that I know so many of you listening right now are probably wearing. His designs have walked runways, graced magazine covers and become staples in wardrobes all around the world. But as we set off, I couldn't help but notice an unusual, almost palpable tension inside the car. Normally our drives are filled with laughter and lively debates, but this time there was a heavy silence punctuated only by the engine in the occasional sound of cars speeding past. You know that feeling when you can just sense something weighing heavily on someone's mind. He stared out the passenger window, watching as palm trees and billboards flew by. Finally, he turned to me. His voice, usually so confident and assertive, was tinged with vulnerability as he broke the silence.

SPEAKER_2 (2:58)

Do you ever worry that what you're doing will stop growing, will decline or will fail?

Steven Bartlett (3:04)

He asked softly. The question hung in the air between us as my brain scrambled to read between the lines. By this question, I assumed that the business he had poured his life into might have started to stagnate. Perhaps the uncertainty this had created was looming like a shadow over his achievements casting doubt in his mind. Before I could respond, he shifted the conversation.

SPEAKER_2 (3:26)

I was talking to our mutual friend, John, the other day. You know, the one with the podcast.

Steven Bartlett (3:30)

I nodded, knowing exactly whom he meant.

SPEAKER_2 (3:33)

Even he's a little bit concerned his podcast growth has been flat and he's questioning everything, my friend continued.

Steven Bartlett (3:39)

As he spoke, my mind flashed back to a conversation I had years ago with Sir David Brailsford. Coincidentally, Sir David had been on my mind because I'd spoken to him the day before, and we were actually on our way to meet him at a preseason Manchester United game in LA at that exact moment. For those of you who might not be familiar, Sir David Brailsford is the mastermind behind British cycling's transformation from mediocrity to global dominance. He was now leading performance at Manchester United under the new Ineos ownership. Many years ago, when Sir David took over as Performance Director of British cycling, they hadn't won an Olympic gold medal in nearly a century. Under his leadership, they didn't just win, they dominated, securing multiple gold medals and Tour de France victories. But what struck me most when I first met Sir David wasn't his impressive list of victories, it was his intense focus on mindset and psychology, which I'm now convinced is what made those victories possible. I remember sitting across from him on my kitchen table as he cradled his mug in his hands, the steam rising and curling in the air. You know, he began, stirring his coffee thoughtfully, the spoon making a soft clanging noise against the ceramic. When our cyclists became fixated on the podium, on the medals, the glory, their performance suffers. He paused, taking a slow sip. It's a subtle shift, but it's profound.