"Steve Zahn"

**Steve Zahn** (0:06)
Hi, this is Steve Zahn, and I just went through an intense tech setup with my mic and my computer, and I'm ready to go. I'm just waiting here, I'm waiting patiently to be on SmartLess. Welcome to SmartLess.
All right, surprise guests, give us a clap if you're still with us, please. We are rolling.

**Sean P. Hayes** (0:48)
Oh, wow, that's intense.

**Will Arnett** (0:49)
That's a dude. We're gonna go tarps off today, guys.

**Jason Bateman** (0:55)
I almost sent you an article last night, so we talked about tarps off. It wasn't even a Canadian article.

**Sean P. Hayes** (1:01)
I never heard that before. Is that an old saying?

**Will Arnett** (1:04)
Yeah.

**Sean P. Hayes** (1:05)
It is? I never heard that.

**Jason Bateman** (1:06)
Canadian old.

**Sean P. Hayes** (1:07)
You know, when I was in junior high school, they would do shirts.

**Will Arnett** (1:09)
Oh, hang on, let me settle in.

**Sean P. Hayes** (1:12)
They would do shirts and skins, you know? And I was so like...

**Jason Bateman** (1:17)
I would always be afraid to be skins because I wasn't happy with my body. Same.

**Sean P. Hayes** (1:22)
By the way, it's traumatic for children to be like, hey, take your shirts off, dudes, against the guys who get to keep them on. It's like, why is that a thing?

**Jason Bateman** (1:30)
Yeah, I wonder if you can still do that. Is it politically not okay to say, you take your shirt off, you keep yours on.

**Sean P. Hayes** (1:39)
And the same with showers after. I remember being 12 years old, guys hit the showers. I don't want to be naked in front of my friends. Were you always on the shower team?

**Jason Bateman** (1:48)
Guys, can I be team captain showers?

**Sean P. Hayes** (1:52)
No, but I was-

**Will Arnett** (1:53)
What sport are you doing this semester? I'm taking showering.

**Jason Bateman** (1:56)
I'm quarterback of the shower team.

**Sean P. Hayes** (2:00)
You know, though, isn't that so traumatic?

**Will Arnett** (2:02)
Yeah, I went to all boys boarding school, dude. I had to shower every day.

**Sean P. Hayes** (2:05)
I mean, what is the thinking behind that? That like, oh, they'll be fine. They'll work it out. They're just boys.
And I'm like, no, we're all sensitive. Anyway, moving on.

**Will Arnett** (2:17)
Huh. Huh.
Well.

**Jason Bateman** (2:19)
Just drop us off right there, Sean, thanks. I guess we'll find our way home from here.

**Sean P. Hayes** (2:25)
No, you know what I mean? It was just awful. It was awful. I was in camp. I remember I had to take- Music camp. I had to take-

**Jason Bateman** (2:31)
Oh, he's got more.

**Will Arnett** (2:36)
Off the top of my head was Sean Hayes.

**Jason Bateman** (2:39)
Camp stories.

**Sean P. Hayes** (2:41)
I had to take a shower and it was really cold.
Did I already tell this story? There was a super long line. And there was a line of like a hundred guys in line to take one shower at a time. And by the time I got there, the water was so cold, it was freezing. And I, you know, you lose your breath when the water is that cold, like you can't catch your breath. And I was like, and everybody was staring at me taking a shower. I don't know, it's just so...

**Jason Bateman** (3:09)
Did your folks get a deal on the camp? This is a hundred people for the one shower with the no hot water?

**Sean P. Hayes** (3:15)
Yeah, right.

**Will Arnett** (3:16)
It was a music camp.

**Sean P. Hayes** (3:17)
It was awful.

**Will Arnett** (3:18)
Wait a sec, that's it?

**Sean P. Hayes** (3:20)
Yeah, I mean...

**Jason Bateman** (3:20)
Full story.

**Sean P. Hayes** (3:21)
Just the same as always, like...

**Jason Bateman** (3:23)
Well, I think we can start rolling now.

**Will Arnett** (3:24)
Let's stop.

**Jason Bateman** (3:27)
Sean, you've got a GEPD hat on that is some sort of a police department that is... Glen Ellyn.
Glen Ellyn. Got it.

**Will Arnett** (3:36)
Glen Ellyn.

**Sean P. Hayes** (3:37)
Glen Ellyn.

**Will Arnett** (3:38)
Glen Ellyn.

**Jason Bateman** (3:39)
That's in the Chicago suburbs?

**Sean P. Hayes** (3:42)
That is it.

**Will Arnett** (3:43)
I'm just looking in the chat there. I don't know if you guys want to click on that.

**Sean P. Hayes** (3:45)
Oh yeah, the chat. There's Jason with his shirt off.
Let me see.

**Will Arnett** (3:51)
Towing off in the Mediterranean.

**Jason Bateman** (3:53)
Hey man, you know.

**Will Arnett** (3:55)
Keep it relatable.

**Sean P. Hayes** (3:56)