Step 1 with Tina, Tony, Trina AA WKS

**SPEAKER_1** (0:00)
It says I'm supposed to introduce each one individually, but we're just going to do, Tina is going to go first, and then Tony is going to go, and then Trina is going to be our anchor at the very end. So just when one is finished, the other one can come up and start.

**Trina** (0:15)
Ready?

**Tina** (0:17)
Hi, I'm Tina, I'm an alcoholic. Got my phone here so I can keep on time, because if anybody knows me, I can talk forever. So I was just asked to do this a little while ago, so I'm not really prepared per se, but admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and that our lives had become unmanageable, step one. And until I came into AA, I was not an alcoholic. I may drink a lot, but my problem was you, because you all just didn't know how to act, or you want to give me DUIs, okay, I drink a little bit more, or you wanted to kind of fire me because I was missing a lot of work. But I really never got fired, I just knew when to quit the job before I got fired. So I could say I was never fired, you know?
I still remember the moment I realized I was an alcoholic.
I was at the Promises Club there in Newport, Kentucky. It was a Saturday afternoon meeting, it was a half late, half discussion. And the gentleman was describing what alcohol does to him. And he was talking about, where I go here and I go here and I get in trouble, I'm thinking, yeah, because you're drinking, no wonder you're getting arrested, duh. I'm glad you're all here because you all need this. You know, there's my mind thinking, because I'm not an alcoholic, even though I'm sitting in a meeting because my husband says he's not coming home until I do AA or get help because I tried to save him with a knife. Whoop-dee-doo, whatever. Anyway, so I'm sitting there and this guy is describing, he goes, when I take a drink of alcohol, I get the sense of ease and comfort. He goes, I get the sense of ease and comfort, like nothing else.
And see what I would be out drinking. And Robin was always talking, I say, hold on a second, Robin, let me take a shot. And I take a shot, and I go like this. I literally put my hand, I'd go.
And I could see in his eyes, and I knew, oh my God, I'm an alcoholic. I'm an alcoholic. Oh my God, what do I do? What do I do? Oh my God. I mean, I remember that, just 21 years ago. I'm like, why? Because up until that moment, I was not an alcoholic. So now I'm an alcoholic, and what do I do? I just kind of sunk in. I just remember that they talked, because people were talking, and then after the meeting, they got up and said some kind of prayer, and then they said this thing, keep coming back. It works if you work it. Keep coming back. I heard that. So I started coming back, and I've been back for 21 years. But I woke up every morning. I had this disease called alcoholism. It centers in my brain. Now, it can be a rest and sleep, but I wake up every morning, and I realize I am truly an alcoholic. I have to work the program of Alcoholics Anonymous on a regular basis. My life was unmanageable then, and it can be unmanageable now. You know, but until I came into it, my life was not unmanageable. Like I said, I quit the job before you fired me. It wasn't my fault that I wasn't over at Relatives House. Whatever, I always had a good excuse. I could justify my mind why it wasn't my fault. Now, today, what I do is I do inventories on these things. And I find my part, because I have no control, and I should not have control over any other person, place or thing. I can't control you or what you do. I just have to change my perception of the way that I perceive things. Acceptance is the answer. Me, when you all told me that, I hated that. Acceptance. I didn't like that. But acceptance doesn't mean that I have to like it, agree with it, understand it or want it. Acceptance just means that I have to admit this is how it is, and then I can make a decision based on the truth. So, admitting that I was powerless over alcohol, and that my life had become unmanageable, I was able to accept that and admit that. I didn't like it because I was scared and didn't know what to do.