Stanford Psychologist: 7 Small Things That Make a Huge Difference in How You Feel

Mel Robbins (0:00)

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast.

I am so excited about the conversation today, because we're going to talk about how you can feel like yourself again. Get your spark back and bring more joy into your life, even if things are really hard right now. And we're going to do it with this extraordinary woman. Her name is Dr. Kelly McGonigal. I've been trying to get her on the podcast for years. She's one of the world's leading experts in stress, resilience, joy. She's been at Stanford University as a psychologist and lecturer for over 20 years. And what she's going to teach you today, it is simple. It's backed by science. She has such an important message to share with you. You can enjoy your life right now.

For real. She wants you to know that a good life isn't perfect. And joy is how you navigate those moments in between. Periods that are challenging and periods that are amazing. Joy is how you have a day that has a sunrise and a funeral. It's how you have a breakdown and a belly laugh. You can go to the hospital and also enjoy the beach. You don't have to overhaul your life. You're going to begin exactly where you are in the mess. And you're going to learn how to tap into the simple joys to help you get through your life and start enjoying it now.

And that's going to feel amazing.

Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast. I'm so excited that you're here today. It's an honor to be together and to spend this time with you. And if you're new or somebody shared this with you, I just want to personally welcome you to The Mel Robbins Podcast family. Today, you and I are learning how to feel like yourself again, the science of getting your spark back with the extraordinary Dr. Kelly McGonigal. Dr. McGonigal is a world-renowned health psychologist, an award-winning lecturer at Stanford University, where she earned her PhD and has been working for over 20 years. She co-created Stanford's Compassion Cultivation Training through the Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism. And her TED Talk about stress is one of the most popular TED Talks of all time. She's the best-selling author of three books, and today she's going to help you and me get our spark back. Dr. Kelly McGonigal. Welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast.

Kelly McGonigal (2:28)

Thank you. It's great to be here.

Mel Robbins (2:29)

I'd love for you to start by just setting the record straight about what we're going to talk about and how the person who's here with us is going to feel when they're done and how their life might change. Because you hear the word joy and you think, oh my gosh, is this a to-do list for being happy? But what are we going to talk about based on your research about how to feel like yourself again, and to use this science of joy to do that?

Kelly McGonigal (2:52)

My core hope is that when you wake up in the morning, you want to be alive, you're happy to be alive, you feel like you have things to look forward to.

You know that what you do matters, that who you are matters, that your existence in the world is a good thing, and that no matter what challenges you're facing, that you can handle them, and even in those challenges, it's possible to laugh, it's possible to feel close to others, it's possible to have things to look forward to, it's possible to do things every day that make life better for yourself, or that make the world better. Psychologists sometimes use this term existential courage, and that's what I really hope comes out of this conversation, is that you feel more courageous to create a life of meaning and a stronger capacity to appreciate not just what's good in your life, but also what's good in you, and what's good in others, and what's good in the world.

Mel Robbins (3:56)

My favorite thing that you just said was this ability to appreciate not just what's good in your life, but what's good in you.

Kelly McGonigal (4:07)

Yeah.

Mel Robbins (4:07)

Can you expand on that?

Kelly McGonigal (4:10)

I think, like everything that I do, I'm trying to be an antidote to despair. And there's a particular type of despair that people are comfortable talking about, which is looking out at the world and feeling like the world is falling apart. There's so much wrong with the state of the world, and other people are so disappointing. And I think people have a harder time admitting or recognizing that sometimes we wonder what's good about us, whether what we do makes a difference, if our existence has a reason, if other people care or even know that we're here.