Spice Girl Mel B: From Girl Power to Powerless "It Took Me 10 Yrs to BREAK FREE & Learn This Lesson"

**Mel B** (0:00)
Best thing that's ever happened to you financially, go. Easy, sold my car on Carvana, amazing offer.

**Lisa Bilyeu** (0:05)
Really? I hit 200 on a scratcher. Did the scratcher come to your house and hand you a check?

**Mel B** (0:10)
No.

**Lisa Bilyeu** (0:11)
How many scratchers did you hit to get that?

**Mel B** (0:13)
I hit a button on carvana.com once. Okay, that's fair. It's like the lottery, except you always win.
Not like the lottery at all, actually. Exactly, inexplicably good. Offer's worth bragging about. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up Vee's May Apply.

**Lisa Bilyeu** (0:30)
What up, guys? Lisa Bilyeu here. And I'm so excited for today's episode of Women of Impact. Today is actually for real a dream come true of mine because I watched growing up as a Brit in London, this woman embodied girl power to the nth degree. In fact, not only does she embody it, her and other women created and invented the epic girl power movement in the 90s. Now, in case you didn't guess, this is the inspiring, cheater print wearing one and only scary spice. That's right, Mel B. And damn, is she getting so real and honest about how she finally escaped the abuse for good. And she took her power back and now is using that to help spread the word and support the strong, amazing abuse survivors all around the world. It's time to stand up and take freaking girl power back and never let anyone take it from you again. Let's freaking zig-a-zig-ah. I'm Lisa Bilyeu and this is Women of Impact with my empowering homie, Mel B.
Spice Girls were a global phenomenon who were fearless, you were known as invincible, and you actually invented girl power. And yet, 20 years later, you found yourself writing these words. I know what it's like to be beaten down. I know what it's like to be punched, humiliated and isolated, and to feel there is no way out. Your ex even called you ugly, a slut, disgusting, fat, stupid, a bitch, worthless, pathetic, a monkey and derelict. And the most common things women have said to me over the past years is, but you're such a strong woman. How did this happen to you?
So I wanna know is how did you go from girl power to powerless?

**Mel B** (2:26)
Abuse can happen to anybody, whether you're successful or not. Usually happens to people that have a bit of money or a bit of kibaz about themselves because an abuser, I always say it's their job and you do your job good, I do my job good. So an abuser, if that's their job, they have to be good at it because if they abuse you, they get to have your lifestyle, your money, they get to control you and they get to have complete power over you and it happens very gradually. That's why abusers never stop. And throughout my 10 year marriage, I had no idea that he already had a criminal charge for domestic violence from a prior relationship. I had no idea until I actually left him.
So they're good at what they do and abuse finds you.
You don't go, all right, I really want a really nice relationship and then I want it to be abusive. No, the abuser sniffs you out and seeks you out and they come into your world, into your life like a knight in shining armor. And you are literally love bombed and floored. Like, how is this person even possible? They're everything I've ever dreamed of. And that's why they're so good at what they do.
And they do the same thing at the same time over and over. They chipper weight your personality, they isolate you and before you know it, you are stuck and you don't feel like you can get out. And then that life becomes normal. Terrifying and traumatizing, but it comes normal because you're hiding this dirty, dark secret because you don't want anybody else to know about that stuff. That's horrible. We all have the same story. It's not like these abusers change up how they do things. They do the same thing over and over and over again. That's why I want to challenge, if we already have the information of how they do stuff, I want to challenge it and make sure us women, because it predominately happens to women, does happen to men too, but predominately women, I want to challenge what they do and keep us women safe-guarded. From the court system to any kind of relationship you have, I want to make sure you know what a healthy relationship looks like.

**Lisa Bilyeu** (4:36)