Somehow, The Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Returned

Jake (0:17)

The Star Wars Sequels.

Holden (0:19)

Hell comes to Earth.

That's right, today we're talking about the Star Wars Sequels, we're talking about Star Wars Episodes 7, 8, 9 And that is not the punchline, by the way. There's gonna be other punchlines coming up. That's right, we're talking about, what are the dumb names of these movies? What?

Jake (0:39)

You don't know about The Force Awakens? The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, and Rise of the Skywalker. Rise of the Skywalker.

Holden (0:50)

Everyone's, we're all up in arms right now, okay?

Jake (0:53)

It's fine, it's fine. Everybody's got their hackles up, everybody is ready to jump at each other's throats, and it's gonna be-

Holden (0:59)

Mike, we couldn't even get Mike for this one.

Jake (1:01)

Mike left the state.

Holden (1:03)

We couldn't get him for this. It's a contentious subject for sure, and kind of a follow up to our, I would hope, more contentious prequels discussion episode where we almost came to fisticuffs, people were very upset with me, and just let's get it all out there, right?

I was really hard on the prequels, like really hard on the prequels, and that is how I still feel. I really kind of hate watching them this time, thinking I would enjoy them more. I was painful at times. I remember just constantly checking to see how far into the movie I was.

Jake (1:40)

You're talking about watching the prequels.

Holden (1:42)

Watching the prequels, and I feel scared, Jake, because, and I talked to you about this the other day. I was like, I'm a little worried, because I think it's a bit of a catch-22, but I think like either, because now I think everyone's like, you went hard in the prequels, but these sequels, bro, you know these sequels, you need to be just as hard in the sequels, and A, inherently, I'm just gonna say right now, I don't feel nearly as hateful, actually, towards these sequels. I have to get that out of the way, but it's a catch-22. It's like, I either go hard on these sequels, and everyone's like, God, what a hater, or I'm like too light on the sequels. They're like, you were the mean man about the prequels, but now you're not being mean enough about the sequels.

Jake (2:23)

What is happening?

Holden (2:24)

I want a squeakle. That's what I want. I say more chipmunks than the goddamn thing.

Jake (2:28)

It's a team of three babu-frix and their hilarious manager.

Holden (2:32)

Or what was those little cute little ooo-oo when Chewbacca's trying to-

Jake (2:35)

The Porgs? Yeah. Everybody loved the Porgs. The Porgs is the one thing everybody agreed on.

Holden (2:39)

Exactly. Can we get Porgs and Grogu and like a little team up?

Jake (2:44)

Just all the little guys. Ironically enough, if we actually believe what George Lucas' idea was for the sequel trilogy, it would have been all little goobles the whole way down. But that's neither here nor there. Holden, what's happening is when you have a franchise that is across multiple generations at this point, you have the Gen Xers that grew to love the original trilogy. You have the millennials that like, depending on where they fall in the spectrum, either hated the prequels or it hit them at the exact right time and that is their Star Wars and they watched the Clone Wars and they watched all this Anselier media.

Holden (3:25)

Can I just say again, if you're one of those people, I feel so bad for you and there are hotlines, I think. There are helplines you could get in touch with to help heal you from that.

Jake (3:36)

It has positive aspects. It has, besides-

Holden (3:40)

Emphasis on the ass, those babies suck, they suck. But you're right, they have little pieces in them that are, you know.

Jake (3:50)

Cinematically daring works of an auteur individual at the height of his material capability. They're fascinating pieces of work. And then you have this Disney sequel that is flailing all over the place. This was a $4 billion expenditure taken on by the Disney Corporation. And I would argue the true villain was Bob Iger, who demanded an immediate product, while every creative involved was screaming for just a little bit of space and time to actually reign this thing in and build a coherent story.

Holden (4:27)

And yes, and I will also say, though, and I do think you're right, Jake had to talk me down a little bit earlier, but I want to come in here and also say that the fans also are annoying. And I don't like what they did on the online and on the internet about the last, and I still don't like it. I, you know, did that thing where I was like, okay, I want to hear the other perspectives. And I like went on YouTube and like-