ShortHand: Vlad the Impaler - The Real Dracula

Suruthi Bala (0:14)

I was like, oh my god, my neck. Oh god, what have you done?

Hannah Maguire (0:16)

I don't know what I did. My head felt weird this morning when I woke up. Like, the back of my head, I was trying to figure it out, and I was like, oh my god, did I fall over? Like, what's happened? And then I realized, no, I was in the hairdresser yesterday. And it's from the, like, sink. I see.

Suruthi Bala (0:27)

I'm so glad you're here.

Hannah Maguire (0:28)

I'm so glad you're here.

Suruthi Bala (0:28)

I believe when I worked at it. Well, anyway, hello, everybody.

Hannah Maguire (0:31)

Hello, and welcome to a cold open from two warm women.

Suruthi Bala (0:39)

So warm, because it is balmy in London today. I know you are listening to this in October, but we are recording this in September. But don't let it dash the illusion of the festive spirit.

Hannah Maguire (0:52)

I'm feeling it.

Suruthi Bala (0:53)

We are here. We're doing this in September, because for once in our fucking lives, we continue to remain ahead of the game. And also, because we just love October. Spooky month here at RedHanded. So if you have been listening, you will know that we have already covered all myriad of fucking exorcisms, witches, more exorcisms, and even occult obsessed Nazi soldiers in an ancient castle in the Black Forest.

So to cap it all off on this spookiest of all days, because today, Hannah, the day that our beautiful listeners are listening to this, is in fact Halloween Day.

Hannah Maguire (1:30)

All Hallows Eve.

Suruthi Bala (1:31)

All Hallows Eve. So happy Halloween, everybody. And let's get into it, because today we are going to be talking about one of the most sinister, bloodthirsty people in all of human history. And I'm pumped, because we are talking about Dracula.

Hannah Maguire (1:45)

Hooray.

Suruthi Bala (1:47)

And no, we are not talking about the pale, slightly camp, garlic-averse count in a cape. We're talking about Vlad Chepesh, Voivode of Alakia, otherwise known to his mates as Vlad the Impaler, or eventually Vlad Dracula. And unlike the vampiric count, who waits patiently outside to be invited in, this Dracula didn't wait for an invitation to tear through Central Europe, inflicting untold suffering as he went. He is believed to have impaled tens of thousands of his writhing enemies onto spikes while they were still alive. Now that's the real deal when it comes to spooky shit.

So here is your final terrifying short hand.

Hannah and I have in fact, a few years ago, been to Romania, very specifically to Transylvania, and very specifically to Vlad the Impaler's house. Well, let's castle.

Hannah Maguire (2:43)

Well, no. So I think we went to Sigishuara, because that's where he was born.

Suruthi Bala (2:48)

Yes.

Hannah Maguire (2:48)

There was like an insignia on the door of the dragon. Yeah. Then the castle we went to, I think is just the castle that the castle in Dracula is based on. It actually was really boring. It was some princess or something.

Suruthi Bala (3:00)

It was so boring. We should have had soup.

Hannah Maguire (3:02)

Fantastic soup, but no good pictures, because the only place you can take a picture of that castle is some really grim car park. We tried so hard.

Suruthi Bala (3:11)

It was a fucking cool castle as well. But yeah, so we did have the very intense pleasure of going to Romania. We had a fantastic time. Transylvania lived up to all expectations and Sigishavara was absolutely beautiful.

Anyway, we're well off track. This is not under the duvet. Let's get back to it.

Hannah Maguire (3:28)

Let's get back to it and let's get back to the start, which is the start of the 15th century, where the country we now know as Romania was actually three informal principalities, Moldavia, Wallachia, and the most famous, Transylvania. And the Moldavians, Wallachians, and the Transylvanians all had a pretty rough time defending their land. They were stuck slap bang in between Christian Europe and the Muslim Ottoman Empire, and they just couldn't catch a break. These were sites of endless power struggles and ideological clashes and plenty of bloodshed.

Now, Vlad, the guy we're talking about today, Vlad III was, surprise surprise, son of Vlad II, ruler of Wallachia.

Vlad II came from a respected line of leaders, the founders of Wallachia, in fact. He belonged to a crusading Christian order, which marched under the banner of a dragon and became known, because he lives in Game of Thrones, apparently, as the Order of the Dragon. And as the leader, Vlad II earned the nickname Drakul, which, no points for guessing, means dragon. Yeah.