ShortHand: Joan of Arc

Hannah Maguire (0:13)

Hello, or should I say, salut bonjour?

Suruthi Bala (0:16)

Oui, oui, oui.

Hannah Maguire (0:19)

Welcome to Shorthand, where we are covering another historical figure that probably you know the name of, know a bit about, to be honest, and quite understandably have concerns that she might not have been that well.

Suruthi Bala (0:34)

Yes, I think definitely, top of mind for me.

Hannah Maguire (0:40)

Sarithi Bala, what were you doing at 13 years old?

Suruthi Bala (0:46)

Going to Disneyland again, Mickey Mars's autograph. And if you haven't seen the live show, you missed the pictures. I was a very wholesome child, Hannah. What were you doing at 13?

What year is that? Year 8

Year 9 is the worst year. Year 8 was okay. Yeah, something weird and wholesome.

Hannah Maguire (1:07)

Um, I was getting bullied and developing an eating disorder, I think.

Suruthi Bala (1:15)

Hooray!

Hannah Maguire (1:18)

Don't send your kids to single sex schools.

Suruthi Bala (1:21)

Definitely don't. Unless they're boys who do better at single sex schools. Girls don't.

Hannah Maguire (1:26)

I don't care. I think it's awful.

Suruthi Bala (1:28)

It is awful. Don't send any of your kids to anything like that.

Hannah Maguire (1:32)

I also did ballet, which didn't help. But my friends who've got a little girl were asking me about whether they think that they should put her in ballet. And I was like, well, it becomes problematic when you're much older. Um, and also I took it far too seriously and also wasn't very good at it. So I pushed myself to an unreasonable limit, but I would have done the same thing with like, tiddlywinks, like I just am that person. So it didn't matter. It wasn't ballet that did that to me. That's just who I am. But the father of this little girl was like, well, ballet just sexualizes girls. And I was like, well, and this is me and the mum agreeing on this. Firstly, ballet is almost entirely an all female environment, which has its own problems. But secondly, she's going to get sexualized anyway.

You're not, not putting her in ballet isn't going to stop that from happening.

Suruthi Bala (2:18)

I wouldn't have said, but I didn't do ballet. I don't know anything about ballet, but I wouldn't have said it's like the most sexualized. No. Like, it's not like she's joining the fucking cast of cuties.

Hannah Maguire (2:28)

Yes, exactly. It's not, it's not pageantry.

Suruthi Bala (2:32)

No. The maker of who was French.

Hannah Maguire (2:36)

Ah, well done. Your finest work.

But whatever we were doing, 13 is irrelevant and not very impressive at all. Because unless you were leading armies to world-changing military victories, ordained by God himself, you haven't got shit on Joan of Arc. And that name is amongst the best known in history, particularly for women. So much so, in fact, that Joan is in danger of veering into folk legend territory. But the thing is, when it comes to Joan of Arc, it all actually happened. She really was an illiterate peasant girl who convinced the king that she'd been sent by God to march his troops into war. She really did cut her hair short and dress like a man, like Moulin, and lead real armies to real victories just when all hope was lost. The only thing we're not 100% certain of are her trippy St. Field visions. We're not taking them away, we're just calling them into question. So just who was the maid of Orleans? And just how did she do it?

This is the short hand.

Suruthi Bala (4:03)

So yes, Joan won a battle or two in the 15th century, and maybe that on its own might not blow you away, even though she was a teenage girl. But to really get a handle on just how incredibly important Joan of Arc was, and how influential her actions have been on the entire global order to this day, we're going to need to brush up on the Hundred Years' War.

Hannah Maguire (4:28)

That's my least favourite war.

Suruthi Bala (4:30)

Well, suck it up! Because by the time Joan received her first visions from God, England and France were already knee deep in the longest war in history.

Hannah Maguire (4:41)

My most hated fact about the Hundred Years' War. How long do you think it was?

Suruthi Bala (4:46)

Like, oh, it's in The Simpsons, I can't remember.

Hannah Maguire (4:48)

116!

Suruthi Bala (4:49)

That's the one.

Hannah Maguire (4:52)

Just call it what it is! Anyway, my most hated war started in 1337

Suruthi Bala (5:00)

Mine's World War I.