Sheng Wang: A Joke About Consumerism

Sheng Wang (0:05)

I try not to get caught up with things, with consumerism, material stuff, but I also try to take care of what I do have. Like, I bought these glasses. So, you know, I put on contacts if I have to do something physical, like when I go to play basketball, or if I go to a strip club. You know, because if you wear glasses to a strip club, and if you sit near the stage, there's a pretty good chance the dancer's gonna take your glasses off your face. It's happened to me more than twice. And if you want to play the sexy librarian, go for it. I will support you, but bring your own props. This is not a toy. This is a medical device. Normally, I only let the opticians handle them, but since you're not wearing clothes, I'm gonna let it slide tonight. They take your glasses, they put them on, they wear it low on the nose, and they shoot you with these sultry looks. It's supposed to be a sexy moment, but it's not, because I'm squinting back at her.

I think she got four nipples.

And then she changes tactics. She takes the glasses off, and she gives the glasses a close-up tour of her body. I'm like, wow, that looks like a lot of fun for the glasses. But I can't see what the glasses see. It's not Bluetooth connected to my occipital lobe.

Finally, I get them back, I get my glasses back, and of course, my lenses are all smudged up. I got booby prints on my lenses. It's a personal touch, but I don't get turned on from forensics. I didn't bring my lens cloth. Now I gotta watch the whole show in low res. Watch Sheng Wang, purple, only on Netflix.