Seth Meyers: A Joke About Sisters

Seth Meyers (0:05)

I have a brother, my wife has a brother and a sister, and it's been a real education, what sisters are like, especially how sisters fight. The way my wife and her sister fight is it escalates so quickly and then is immediately forgotten by both of them. And the only people left to pick up the pieces are those of us unlucky enough to have been there when it went down. This is a very normal argument. A normal fight between my wife and her sister. One of them will say, hey, when you borrowed my sweater, you stretched out the neck. And the other one will say, you were a slut in high school. And we're like, whoa!

Where is the middle of that argument? And then the sister will leave and slam the door, and you'll think, well, we're never going to see her again. And then the next day, the buzzer in the apartment rings, and you say, who's that? And she says, it's my sister. I'm like, what's your sister doing here? And she's like, she's borrowing a sweater. And I'm like, what about the neck? Did you already forget about the neck? This is a true story about my wife and her sister. When they were five and nine, they were sharing a bowl of guacamole. And one of them, I won't say which one, took the last bite of guacamole. And the other one said, did you take the last bite of guacamole? You are a bitch.

And then the one who had taken the last bite very calmly looked at her sister dead-eyed, pulled the bowl back, opened her mouth, and let the bite of guacamole fall back into the bowl. And the only part, the only part of that story that isn't true is that it happened last week. Watch Seth Meyers, Lobby Baby, only on Netflix.