Seth MacFarlane + Patton Oswalt (Carolla Classics)

**Giovanni** (0:17)
Classics, I'm your host, super fan, Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 17 years of the Adam Carolla Show. If you'd like to obtain access to the Adam Carolla Show archive, as well as the archive for the Adam and Dr. Drew show and the newer podcast, Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Carolla's sub stack, adamcarolla.substack.com. Sign up, subscribe, and listen ad free. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classicsatamcarolla.com. All right, let's get to the clips. Come up first, we have Adam Carolla Show 481, featuring Patton Oswalt, Alison Rosen, and Bryan Bishop. This one's from 2011

**Adam Carolla** (0:50)
At first, I didn't think it was real.

**Giovanni** (1:00)
Come with me if you want to live.

**Patton Oswalt** (1:02)
There were thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:05)
The truth is out.

**Larry Miller** (1:06)
It's just so beautiful.

**SPEAKER_7** (1:08)
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**SPEAKER_5** (1:20)
Adam's guest today, comedian and author Patton Oswalt, plus Bald Bryan with the sound effects, Alison Rosen with the news, and a round of Germany or Florida.
And now, all you need is the air that you breathe, and Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on.

**Adam Carolla** (1:40)
No choice but to get it on. Mandate, get it on. Good day, Bald Bryan.

**Patton Oswalt** (1:45)
Tell me about that, Grandpa Carolla.

**Adam Carolla** (1:48)
Pat, I love that guy. Good day, Alison Rosen.
It's gonna be a good, good day. All right, first off, I wanna welcome the fans that are watching on the Ace Broadcasting Twitter network. They're watching the Ace Broadcasting Twitter winners, I should say. They're viewing us right now in studio. Thanks to our good friends at GoToMeeting. See how that works?

**Seth MacFarlane** (2:10)
By the magic of GoToMeeting.

**Adam Carolla** (2:12)
Unbelievable. Speaking of GoToMeeting, how about GoToMyPC?
Problems getting work done because of distractions at the office? Mm-hmm. Try to get some work done.

**Seth MacFarlane** (2:21)
What did you say, dude? What did you say?

**Adam Carolla** (2:23)
Donnie ripping a bong load behind you.
Sandy tuning his Mustang. Now, stay home. Save yourself some gas. Save some energy. Save, by the way, save one of those sexual harassment suits.

**Seth MacFarlane** (2:39)
How can you possibly get a suit for that?

**Adam Carolla** (2:40)
Who's your cat going to talk to?

**Seth MacFarlane** (2:42)
Thank you.

**Adam Carolla** (2:42)
You know what I'm saying? Go to MyPC, brought to you by our good friends over at Citrix, and you can securely access everything on your office computer, even the programs from anywhere, Cafe, Library, an island, anywhere. You can get the Internet. Try, go to MyPC free. I got a free 45-day offer, only if you use a promo code Adam. Works on the Mac, works on the PC. You can get your home computer from work, you can get your work computer from home. I think two computers is what they start you out with. You can add as many as you want, but all you need is your home and your work computer. Visit gotomypc.com, click on the try it free button, and remember the promo code Adam, 45 days for free. All right, Patton is coming in. Patton has a book, Zombie Spaceship Wasteland, and I think I love about Patton. He's just good at everything he does. He's good at stand up, he's good at acting, he does, what was his movie, Big Fan? Big Fan. Yeah, Serious Role, did a great job in that. I'll kiss his ass when he comes in, but I was, and I want to kiss all your asses too, for keeping my audio book on iTunes still in the top 10 after all these weeks and months now, still up there and past shit my dad said, which feels good. So I thought we'd play a little snippet from the book. We haven't done it a while. And again, if you have the book, the audio book is six hours and 40 minutes of different. So if you want to check it out, be my guest. And again, thank you all. Why don't we play a little snippet and then we'll fire up the news, shall we?
Let's talk about dumb guys in commercials.
Look, let's face it, guys are smarter than women. Ladies, please debunch your panties and open your ears. Sorry, man. Men build all the bridges, all the dams, go to the moon, etc. It's a fact. I don't want to argue about it. If you don't believe me, go down the Patton office, where, by the way, Einstein and his penis used to work, and see all the great innovations women have come up with over the years. But commercials to pick men is simple-minded buffoons.