Set Yourself Up for an Epic 2023 | Ask Me Anything (AMA) #3 with Dr. Michael Gervais

Michael Gervais (0:00)

Okay, welcome back to another Ask Me Anything, and the last official AMA of 2022

This is gonna be a fun one. We're focused on the practices and principles to help support your life ambitions heading into the new year. Now, I'm really excited for 2023

Quietly, I've been looking forward to the natural reset that happens at this time of the year. For me, it's a spiritually charged month, a time to reflect and reconnect. And based on the questions that we received, I can tell it's the same for many of you. I'm incredibly grateful for our community and the commitment that each of you take to live in alignment with your deeper purpose. It is obvious. And if you're looking to create change heading into the new year, it doesn't begin when the ball drops. It starts today.

As you know from listening to the podcast, our minds are our greatest asset. And if you wanna learn more about how you can train your mind, I wanna encourage you to check out our online psychological training course, where we pull together the best practices to meet the unique intersection of high performance and well-being. We walk through 16 essential principles and skills for you to train your mind. In the same way, we train world-class athletes and executives. We also just released a brand new version of the course with improved functionality and updated user experience and downloadable resources. I'm super stoked on it, and I think you're gonna love it too.

Over my career, this course has been one of the projects that I am most excited to share, and I hope that you'll find it to be incredibly meaningful in your life. So as a Finding Mastery listener, we wanna hook you up with $50 off the Finding Your Best Course license. To sign up for the course and receive that discount, just head to findingmastery.net/course. That's findingmastery.net forward slash course to receive $50 off.

SPEAKER_2 (2:00)

Alex writes, Mike, what's the difference between intentions and resolutions as we go into the new year?

Michael Gervais (2:06)

It's a good question. There's a nuance here that's slight. Resolutions are this idea that I'm gonna resolve to be a different person in the new year. January 1, I'm different.

An intention is a daily practice of imagining how you want to be today.

One is a thin slice, an intention is a thin slice. It puts you in the power seat to say, how do I wanna be today? And a resolution is this broad sweeping thing. 50% of people that set resolutions fail within three months. They don't really work.

SPEAKER_2 (2:37)

Dario writes, thank you for the opportunity to ask meaningful questions to help us become our best. I've struggled with trusting my abilities to lead in my role at the firm. This upcoming year, I will lead in the area of diversity and equity and inclusion.

What could I say to myself every day to remind myself that I am capable?

Michael Gervais (2:55)

That question is far deeper than just the words that just came out. When somebody's saying that I've lost my ability to trust myself, I mean, that can be really pretty deep. So the first thing I do is calibrate, like is this a deep thing or is this like, no, I've just kind of lost my way in how well I can deliver. So is it deep or is it more surface is where I'd first calibrate.

My inclination is that when somebody says I've lost my trust, that it's actually quite deep. And the reason that I naturally go there first, because let me just say this is that the precision of language is in many respects, the tool for a psychologist. Like that is one of our tools is to have a rich understanding of calibrating language and snapping language into the emotions that the person's feeling and linking those around. That's one of our tools. So I don't know if Daria, if you mean confidence or trust, and they're different. Confidence is like this thing, like, I think I can go do that. So losing confidence is very different than losing trust. Trust is more foundational, fundamental. So let's just go with the question that is about a deeper set here.

Is that what makes this complicated, and I would go, this is where I would go with her. I'd say, okay, tell me about what it was like before you were two.

She'd say, I don't remember. I'd say, well, what do you remember from a very early age? As you've been able to piece it together, what do you think the first two years were like for you?

And where we would go with that is where I'm working underneath the surface is that between the ages of zero and two is where trust is baked. And I'm using that word provocatively.