Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras

Steven Bartlett (0:00)

Tron Aries has arrived.

Evy Poumpouras (0:02)

I would like you to meet Aries, the ultimate AI soldier.

Steven Bartlett (0:05)

He is biblically strong and supremely intelligent. You think you're in control of this.

SPEAKER_3 (0:13)

You're not.

Steven Bartlett (0:14)

On October 10th.

Evy Poumpouras (0:15)

What are you?

Steven Bartlett (0:16)

My world is coming to destroy yours, but I can help you. The war for our world begins in IMAX. Tron Aries, rated PG-13, may be inappropriate for children under 13, only in theaters October 10th. Get tickets now.

SPEAKER_4 (0:30)

Don't bring your authentic self to work. I want your professional self. You can bring your authentic self to Thanksgiving meal with your family if you'd like to. Your authentic self is about who? Me, me, me, me, me. Everything is what's happening to me. What's in it for me? Do you know that you impact other people? You affect other people's lives? You make the work environment easier or more taxing?

Evy Poumpouras (0:50)

Can someone learn to be a better self-regulator of their emotions?

SPEAKER_4 (0:53)

Yeah. So I've been around former SEALs, US. Secret Service presidents, and I learned a lot about communication, reading people, confidence, and I'll share these things. So first of all, Evy Poumpouras is the former US.

Steven Bartlett (1:05)

Secret Service agent.

SPEAKER_3 (1:06)

From guarding presidents to reading liars, she now reveals the strategies she used to make anyone respect you, trust you, and give you what you want.

SPEAKER_4 (1:14)

I've been around very confident people, and they had a really good circle around them, inner circle, because if you're exposing yourself to people and environments that are not good for you, that will actually impact your life negatively. You know, I always say, be careful who you try to save. Some people will drown you. And then the other thing I would see presidents do is they were very good at delegating. So they didn't need to know everything, because confident people are okay with not knowing all the information. So your brain is like a bathtub. The bathtub can only hold so much water. If you keep putting water in the bathtub, it's gonna overflow. That's your cognitive load. My bathtub only holds the water it needs to hold in. And another thing that the Secret Service taught us is that it's really important to use your hands. Because when people don't see hands, it's a sign of untrustworthiness, like you can't trust them. So when you see hands, open hands, I'm no threat. And then there's communication skills, manipulation, tactics, and a strategy to make good decisions. And I will go through them. But the two most important things are...

Evy Poumpouras (2:10)

Just give me 30 seconds of your time. Two things I wanted to say. The first thing is a huge thank you for listening and tuning in to the show week after week. Means the world to all of us. And this really is a dream that we absolutely never had and couldn't have imagined getting to this place. But secondly, it's a dream where we feel like we're only just getting started. And if you enjoy what we do here, please join the 24% of people that listen to this podcast regularly and follow us on this app. Here's a promise I'm going to make to you. I'm going to do everything in my power to make this show as good as I can now and into the future. We're going to deliver the guests that you want me to speak to and we're going to continue to keep doing all of the things you love about this show. What is the overarching theme of why people you think are drawn to your particular message, and what part of that message are they drawn to?

SPEAKER_4 (3:02)

I get bombarded on all social media platforms and in email, and it's always like, Evy, I have this problem, please help me. And it can range from, I have a problem communicating, to I'm in an abusive relationship, to my brother was murdered, and they're saying it's a suicide, it's not. So I get everything. And I think what I'm seeing is, there are a lot of people that are not doing well. It seems to me that people are tired of being told that they have no control over the outcome of their lives and no control over their relationships. Because when you tell people, it's not your fault this happened to you, and it's okay that you're this way, which it is, I think people don't want to stay there anymore. And so people look to, I don't have to be weak all the time, or I don't have to feel weak. You can have a weak moment. It's not the same thing with feeling fundamentally weak or insecure or insignificant all the time. And then looking at a moment or a situation or moments in your life and saying, I'm this way now because of all these things that happened. And I think for a while that worked. I think for a while people were buying it because it's not your fault you're like this. Now this happened to you here. It's not your fault that you don't trust people. This happened to you here. And so because that theme's been going on for so long, what it does is it renders you powerless because it's saying you're this way because of all this other stuff and it's not your fault. And that translates to I have no power over it.