Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You

Jay Shetty (0:00)

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Hey, it's Jay. I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute. And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it. And, yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose. Today's guest is one of your favorites, Sabrina Zohar, a dating and relationship coach, author and the host of the Sabrina Zohar show. Through her honest, no-nonsense approach to modern relationships, she has helped millions of people recognize the dating patterns keeping them stuck and learn how to break them. Her new book is called Why Am I Like This? And it explores how our earliest experiences shape who we pursue, what we tolerate, and the way we respond to love. Sabrina Zohar, welcome back to On Purpose.

Sabrina Zohar (2:57)

Hi, Jay. I'm so excited to be here.

Jay Shetty (2:59)

Congratulations on your new book.

Sabrina Zohar (3:00)

Thank you.

Jay Shetty (3:01)

So exciting. And I have to say that I feel like you cover such important ground in this book, which actually sets people up for long-term success. I think we live in a world where we get a lot of quick dating advice, we get a lot of good insights on what to do when you're trying to get married, or whatever else it may be, and that's all useful.

But I feel like I've seen couples stay together or break up based on what you address in this book. And so I really feel that you've done a real service to everyone who reads it, to understand what's at the core of the success or failure of their relationship.

Sabrina Zohar (3:38)

Thanks, Jay. I think for me, I look at so many of these patterns and so many things that we keep repeating over and over and over again. And so if we can understand, first of all, the why, sure. But then it's, what are you going to do with it? Because otherwise, like you said, you're repeating the same thing for years. So I'm really excited to talk about not the band-aids. This is like going to the root of this massive gash that you have in your arm. Instead of just throwing a little cute little pink band-aid on it, we're actually going to get to the wound, heal it, so that you get the life and love that you deserve, that you've always deserved, but maybe somewhere along the lines you learned otherwise.

Jay Shetty (4:09)

Was there a specific relationship or a specific moment that made you ask, why am I like this?

Sabrina Zohar (4:15)

To me, I say I found myself by bedhopping, which is just a nice way of me saying I found myself. I just kept going from person to person to person, hoping eventually this feeling would go away.