S4E51: Widows

Abigail Thorn (0:00)

[♪ Music playing, The World Is A Big Party Now! [♪ Music playing, The World Is A Big Party Now! [♪ Music playing, The World Is A Big Party Now! Hello, listeners, and welcome to another episode of Kill James Bond. My name is Abigail Thorn. I'm joined, as always, by my friend, Devon.

Devon (0:26)

Cowabunga.

Abigail Thorn (0:27)

And no, November. Oh, my God. November has been put into Dr. Goldfoote's bikini machine. Oh, my God. But needs a little longer to cook.

And so whilst we're waiting for her to come out in her gold bikini with her brand new face, voice, ass, she's had every surgery at once, actually. A BBL, BA, fucking voice surgery, everything, every new pussy.

Devon (0:52)

What's actually happened, she's gotten cut in half by a samurai and he's still got his sword put away. He hasn't quite finished putting it away yet. So we've got her in a big full body brace to hold her together when he does finally put that sword away. And she'll be hopefully right back to it afterwards.

Abigail Thorn (1:08)

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. As long as he doesn't put his sword away.

Devon (1:11)

As long as he doesn't put his sword away, she's fine. But we're trying to get in contact with the samurai at this time.

We're sending her a lot of e-mails. We're like, please, you have to meet with your constituents.

Abigail Thorn (1:25)

E-mail samurai.

Devon (1:26)

Do not close the sword.

Abigail Thorn (1:29)

But yeah, November is recovery from surgery. We wish her a very, very speedy recovery. This is not the surgery listeners. This is simply a surgery. But we wish her a speedy recovery. Yeah. Preliminary surgery, surgery round one. But in the meantime, we are watching a movie that she's left in the DVD player for us.

Devon (1:47)

Yes.

Abigail Thorn (1:48)

It's a little Devon and Abby special. And she set us up here because, Lester, something you might not know about the two of us is that we are white. And so is November. And we are watching a movie that we are maybe not entirely qualified to comment on. All the aspects of we're watching the 2018 heist film, Widows.

Devon (2:09)

If I can wade into Jackie Brown, I can wade into Widows.

Abigail Thorn (2:13)

Yeah.

Devon (2:13)

I was going to say, it's quite thematically relevant here because I almost feel like a Widow here recording this with you because-

Abigail Thorn (2:20)

Oh, because she's trans?

Because I'm in mourning for my co-host. You're flying the flag with the underwear on it? Yeah, I am. Oh my God.

Devon (2:32)

I am a transgender Widow.

Abigail Thorn (2:35)

Yeah.

Devon (2:35)

No, because I'm missing such a key presence in our lives. It feels like she's hanging over us as we try to talk about this.

Abigail Thorn (2:44)

Absolutely. Yeah. And then it's going to turn out she's just alive and stealing all the Patreon money. Yeah. Spoilers for the movie winners listeners.

But okay. This movie was made by Steve McQueen, not that Steve McQueen, the British Steve McQueen.

Devon (2:58)

Yeah. I was very surprised when I found out. I was like, oh, that's why this is good. That's why this has been really good this whole time.

Abigail Thorn (3:05)

Yeah. It's a fucking banger film.

Devon (3:07)

He made this right after 12 years as a slave. Like this is the one he went straight on to. Sick.

Abigail Thorn (3:12)

Oh, wow. What a double, what a kind of one, two punch. Like this, yeah, this movie's sick. It's really, really good. We start with Liam Neeson and Viola Davis' absolutely sucking face. With their, yeah, just making out sloppy style.

Devon (3:27)

First frame, Liam Neeson is gripping Viola Davis' face and just the tongue, you can see it moving.

Direct quote from my beautiful partner here. I don't need to see Liam Neeson's tongue doing that. Then a beat and then actually I do, please rewind it. I was like, I'm putting that on the podcast. I'm putting you on blast.

Abigail Thorn (3:46)

Hell, yeah.

There's this crew of four guys doing a heist, and so we intercut between heist going very, very wrong, and them being at home with their wives and partners who are about to be, spoilers, the widows. Liam Neeson's sucking face, he also has a big hip flask that he drinks from. It's engraved with, I am your wife, just like Anthony Hopkins' watch.

Devon (4:09)

My iconic, god damn it.

Abigail Thorn (4:11)

Yeah, my iconic hip flask.

Hip flask, it says, I am your wife. I am your wife, Violet Davis. Got a picture of her in case you're like Jensen Huang, he gets confused.