S13 EP23: Great British Banter

Josh Widdicombe (0:00)

This episode is presented by Tooie.

Rob Beckett (0:02)

Look, you've got to love a family holiday, Josh.

Josh Widdicombe (0:03)

Oh, you've got to love it. Who wouldn't love it, Rob?

Rob Beckett (0:06)

You know what the problem with the holidays is, right?

Josh Widdicombe (0:08)

You don't get enough of them. That's the problem.

Rob Beckett (0:09)

Exactly. So you need to make the most of your holiday, which is why Tooie gives you more.

Josh Widdicombe (0:13)

So that's got to be easy booking for incredible destinations with amazing hotels that offer all the things you love. Perfect beaches, mouthwatering food, on-site splash parks, wellness centers, swim up suites and fun stuff for the kids.

Rob Beckett (0:26)

And now you can get even more by joining the brand new Tooie Smiles Rewards Club for free.

Josh Widdicombe (0:31)

We're talking members only deals, personalized rewards from Tooie, and some of their brilliant partners and plenty of chances to win amazing prizes.

Rob Beckett (0:40)

Love it. Get more from your holiday book now and discover the Tooie Smiles Rewards Club at tooie.co.uk.

Josh Widdicombe (0:46)

Atoll and ABTA protected.

Rob Beckett (0:50)

Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with...

Michael (0:53)

Nellie, can you say Rob Beckett?

Josh Widdicombe (0:57)

Wap. Wap.

Rob Beckett (0:59)

Wap. Wap.

Josh Widdicombe (1:00)

Beckett.

Rob Beckett (1:01)

Wap.

Josh Widdicombe (1:02)

Beckett. Beckett.

Michael (1:04)

And Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe.

Josh Widdicombe (1:08)

Well done.

Michael (1:09)

And Archie.

Rob Beckett (1:11)

And Archie, where are you?

Josh Widdicombe (1:13)

This is my 30-month-year-old daughter, Nellie, our Canadian and South American relatives.

Used to call her New York Nellie. However, we have officially rebranded her as NASCAR Nellie. We're currently trapped in a horrific phase where her only setting is sprint, specifically sprinting away from me in the chaotic streets of Manhattan. Oh, that's a tough place to parent Manhattan, isn't it? Yeah.

Rob Beckett (1:36)

I mean, you've got those tiny little parks full of dogshit and homeless people.

Josh Widdicombe (1:39)

You've got Central Park and nothing else where I wouldn't be fearing.

Rob Beckett (1:44)

No.

My friends lived in New York, but then they moved to Jersey. There's a bit more space, but Manhattan.

Josh Widdicombe (1:51)

Jersey just off the south coast of England?

Michael (1:53)

No. New Jersey.

Josh Widdicombe (1:55)

New Jersey.

Michael (1:57)

Bye bye.

Josh Widdicombe (1:59)

You what?

Michael (2:01)

Jersey seri. I'm trying to do that weird American accent, it's not working.

Josh Widdicombe (2:06)

Yeah.

Rob Beckett (2:07)

I was not in New York.

Josh Widdicombe (2:09)

Who do I associate with New Jersey?

Rob Beckett (2:10)

Get off the site, I'm walking here.

Josh Widdicombe (2:12)

Yeah.

Rob Beckett (2:12)

But then Jersey seri is a bit more.

Josh Widdicombe (2:14)

Well, that's weird. I think you can do New York.

Rob Beckett (2:17)

Yeah.

Josh Widdicombe (2:17)

But Tony Soprano is New Jersey.

Rob Beckett (2:19)

Can I get a coffee around here?

Josh Widdicombe (2:23)

Yeah.

Rob Beckett (2:23)

He's Jersey Tony Soprano, but he's Italian American. Yeah. Anyway, get back to Nelly.

Josh Widdicombe (2:27)

Chasing her on a half mile walk to him from daycare every single day is an absolute nightmare. Really gets the blood pressure spiking nicely before the work day even starts. I actually started listening to the podcast when I was pregnant. My colleague Katie, originally from Essex, told me it was mandatory listening.

Having done my undergraduate degree in the UK, I desperately miss proper British banter.

Rob Beckett (2:51)

Oh, that proper point. Making banter great again.

Josh Widdicombe (2:55)

Here we go.

Rob Beckett (2:56)

Farage. No, not farage.

Josh Widdicombe (2:58)

Sorry.

Rob Beckett (2:59)

Put the cup of tea down. Because that could be cut up.

Josh Widdicombe (3:03)

Yeah, I was joking.

Michael (3:04)

That would be in the reform conference.

Rob Beckett (3:07)

Just that bit.

Michael (3:08)

Farage.

Rob Beckett (3:09)

No, I'm in it. This is a nightmare.

Josh Widdicombe (3:12)

And I needed your heavy dose of cynicism to balance out all the aggressive American cheerfulness over here. You lot delivered. Thank you. I'll take that as a compliment. Cheers for keeping it sexy and relatable.

Brindley.

Rob Beckett (3:24)

Is that Brindley?

Josh Widdicombe (3:25)

Brindley.

Rob Beckett (3:26)

That sounds like a market town.

Michael (3:28)

We do warm up big time.

Josh Widdicombe (3:28)

It does, doesn't it?

Michael (3:29)

Guys, I'll be in Brindley Village Hall next week.

Josh Widdicombe (3:33)

430 months. PS. You will hear her shout and Archie. Where are you Archie? That's what she was shouting. At the very end, Archie is her best mate from daycare, but she tracks him down with intensity of a bounty hunter.