S05 EP5: "This is no way for us to live, Rob..."

**Rob Beckett** (0:03)
Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.

**Josh Widdicombe** (0:04)
Hello, I'm Josh Widdicombe.

**Rob Beckett** (0:05)
Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky.

**Josh Widdicombe** (0:21)
So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe.

**Rob Beckett** (0:37)
Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell LIVE.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:49)
Can you say, Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe?

**Rob Beckett** (0:59)
Oh, lovely stuff. That's Americana again, Josh.

**Josh Widdicombe** (1:02)
Yeah, we're big in the stateside. Hi there. Love the podcast and hearing your trials and tribulations as a parent. This is my daughter, Julia, aged two, she was born in March 2020, just four days before lockdown started.
Fucking hell, both sets of parents flew up from Bermuda to help out and got stuck with us for six months.

**Rob Beckett** (1:45)
Oh, you've been living.

**Josh Widdicombe** (1:46)
Where do they live?

**Rob Beckett** (1:47)
Fucking hell. Where are these people from?

**Josh Widdicombe** (1:51)
They are in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

**Rob Beckett** (1:54)
No offence, Cambridge, Massachusetts, but there's no Bermuda, is it?

**Josh Widdicombe** (1:58)
No. Both were born in Bermuda and moved to Boston ten years ago. Anna, Paul and Julia.
There we go.

**Rob Beckett** (2:06)
Anna, Paul and Julia. Was that Julia took the baby called Julia?

**Josh Widdicombe** (2:09)
Yes.

**Rob Beckett** (2:09)
Quite a grown up name for a baby, Julia, isn't it?

**Josh Widdicombe** (2:11)
This is Julia, my daughter's nursery as well. She is, I would say this, at least five foot at the age of three.
One of the tallest children I've ever seen in my life.

**Rob Beckett** (2:22)
Yeah, but that's hard to judge because you still think you're five foot six.

**Josh Widdicombe** (2:26)
I am five foot six, Rob. I'm five foot six and a half, actually.

**Rob Beckett** (2:29)
And a half.

**Josh Widdicombe** (2:30)
I don't want to quibble.

**Rob Beckett** (2:31)
There's no way you're bigger than Deck.

**Josh Widdicombe** (2:32)
Well, we'll never know, will we?

**Rob Beckett** (2:34)
Well, you must have met him. Have you met Deck?

**Josh Widdicombe** (2:36)
Yeah, but I didn't stand back to back with him.

**Rob Beckett** (2:38)
Oh, if I was there, I'd have made you do that.

**Josh Widdicombe** (2:40)
Yeah, I know. And that is a relief for all three parties.

**Rob Beckett** (2:44)
And would have helped me out.

**Josh Widdicombe** (2:45)
All four parties.

**Rob Beckett** (2:47)
How are you? You sounded so annoyed when we started this and I'm quite excited.

**Josh Widdicombe** (2:53)
I was fucked off this morning.

**Rob Beckett** (2:54)
Well, you text me, right?
Oh, you know, I've been looking after my son a lot this week and he's not done anything. I'm a bit worried.

**Josh Widdicombe** (3:03)
There's no anecdotes. That's the point. All I've got is emotion. I haven't got anecdotes.

**Rob Beckett** (3:07)
You said there's anecdotes, no, at 8.38 you went, I've been looking after him all week, but I've got no anecdotes really. He's not done anything. And then at 9am, just changing nappy, this morning has gone bad. So got loads of stuff now.
What's happening in 20 minutes?

**Josh Widdicombe** (3:21)
It's not, it's not anecdote. It's just emotion. Do you know what I mean? There's not like, there's not the quirky thing that happened. You're just following.

**Rob Beckett** (3:30)
So you're not stepping in dog poo. Your life is dog poo.

**Josh Widdicombe** (3:33)
You're just, you're just, you know, six inches behind a 14 month old as he walks around a room trying to make sure he doesn't fall over and hurt himself for 12 hours a day.

**Rob Beckett** (3:45)
So what happened this morning? What is the emotion? You know, you haven't got anecdotes. You just got emotion. What's the emotion?

**Josh Widdicombe** (3:55)
You know, when people go, I don't know if you remember this stage, Rob, when you've got like a kind of one year old basically, but like at the last leg on Friday, people, you know, I can't remember who I was talking to. They were like, what are you up to this weekend? Are you working? You're like, no, no, they'll be like, oh, that's good because it'll be nice to have a break. And you're like, are you fucking kidding me?